After a divorce, there are certain pitfalls to avoid so as not to find yourself in a difficult financial situation…
Once divorced, many parents often find themselves in a complicated financial situation, for several reasons. First of all, daily expenses, such as rent, bills and school fees, were previously shared between two people, but now they must be borne alone. Without forgetting alimony, costs related to childcare and setting up a new home which can unbalance the budget of a single parent, particularly that of mothers. Indeed, it’s no secret that separations have a cost, but those who pay the highest price are women. According to an INSEE study, published in 2015, following a divorce or breakdown of a civil partnership, the average loss in standard of living is around 20% for women, compared to 3% for men.
This decline is even more difficult if, in addition, women have put aside their careers to see their ex’s take off and take care of the children. A reality that ultimately concerns many people. And according to Soreille and company, an independent financial advice and education company, although after a separation a woman’s financial situation becomes uncomfortable, it can be more so if she falls into one of these three traps. The first is to “not wanting to change anything about your children’s standard of living.” In short, it’s living as if you had the same means as before, at the risk of dipping into your savings, explains Héloïse Bolle, founder of Oseille et Compagnie, in a post on Instagram.
The second trap to avoid is to‘”being in competition with the second parent”for example by offering your children a trip as expensive as the one their father organized for them, when you don’t necessarily have the budget. This is where the phrase “make do” comes into play, and it doesn’t mean that your children will love you any less, or that you will fail in your role as a mother. They can very well understand that you do not have the same means as your ex-husband, so there is no point in comparing one to the other.
The last mistake is not entering into conflict with the other parent regarding their financial commitments. Sometimes, it happens that the second parent does not pay child support, or refuses to contribute to the costs of extra-curricular activities or medical costs. And unfortunately, some women say nothing, so as not to taint the image that their children have of their father. In the end, it is important, even essential, to think about your financial security after a separation, and this generally involves adopting new habits, such as saving and better managing your grocery budget, for example. Above all, Soreille et Compagnie advises mothers to stop making sacrifices, and to be transparent with their children when they are old enough to understand.
