Can we be his own executioner without even realizing it? This is the impactful observation that Quentin Turquet makes in his book Your worst enemy is you! (Ed. Gereso). Procrastination, fear of failure, social pressure … so many invisible obstacles that prevent us from moving forward. The author gives us essential keys to regain power over our life and finally dare to take action.
Your worst enemy is you! is a striking title. What was your inspiration to write this book?
Quentin Turquet: For the subject of this book, I was inspired by my own difficulties and blockages. As surprising as it may seem, writing personal development books is for me a way to move away from another writing project, more substantial. I sometimes see myself as my worst enemy, whether through procrastination, excessive entertainment or other joy, even if it is not fortunately not all the time. I think it is important to see how much we can help life of living the life of your dreams, and I wrote this book for this purpose: to put light on what blocks us, what consumes our time and our ambitions without looking at it.
You say we are our own brakes. What do you think are the most common blockages that prevent achieving its objectives?
Quentin Turquet: According to people, the answer may be different. For some, the fear of failure will supplant the rest, it can also be the fear of the unknown, the fear of success, impostor syndrome, there are countless people likely to brake or prevent us from achieving our goals. Even procrastination is not trivial, it is where it derives its source which is important. We can procrastinate because of one of the fears mentioned above. Sometimes it is only our habits that lead us and that push us to live in a routine that does not really suit us. The primordial element is the understanding of what blocks us, because, in any case, a favorable outcome can be found, provided that we know our fears or our brakes.
You also talk about the weight of the eyes of others. How to learn to get out of this social pressure and to act in accordance with yourself?
Quentin Turquet: Excellent question! I am asked regularly, and each time I try to bring nuance because there is no universal response. I was a shy old, embarrassed at the idea of disturbing or doing something wrong, lest it is observed. Let’s say that I quickly understood how I was forbidden to be myself because of the potential gaze of others. Potential because, the majority of time, the others have nothing to do with you. Everyone is concentrated on their life, on their actions, especially if they do not know you or little. I also think that the weight of the eyes of others is exacerbated by social networks, on which I am not present. The more we are busy advancing on its life objectives, and the less you become permeable in the opinion of others and social pressure. What works well: not to mention your projects too quickly to others. Instead, wait to develop them, even if it means coming to the end, before talking about them. This can avoid killing beautiful ideas in the egg!
Many people have dreams, but dare not get started. What first advice would you give to dare to cross the course?
Quentin Turquet: It is easy to erect insurmountable mental barriers. In reality, all this only holds because you are in inaction. As soon as you get started, the obstacles will start to stretch and disappear. By dint of imagining all kinds of scenarios and possibilities, we prevent us from moving forward. But to move forward, you still have to start. This is why I put the action forward in each of my books, because this is where the key is.
In your book, you warn against procrastination and self-sabotage. What are the signs we are sabotaging ourselves?
Quentin Turquet: The clearest signs have a direct link with the fact of having fun. For me, as soon as we seek to achieve something other than our objective, we are already in distraction.
If you start reading lots of personal development books without ever taking action, this is called productive procrastination. You feel like you are productive, without being. What to do well mentally, temporarily. Sometimes, when I have to settle in front of my computer to write, certain unattractive activities suddenly become so: dishes, laundry, cleaning. But it also works with the impression of lacking information, which leads to looking for videos or books, rightly, but also sometimes to the wrong.
All this can go much further, distraction can be transformed into a form of any addiction. This is why I like to create moments in my day when I have only one task to be performed, leaving, in fact, distraction at a distance. It will have plenty of time to assert itself elsewhere.
You compare life to a game and talk about ” Create your ideal character ». Can you explain this metaphor to us and how to apply it concretely?
Quentin Turquet: Being a former video game player, I appreciated creating my characters and then developing them as I advances in the game. We all have in mind a more or less clear idea of his ideal day and behaviors that we want to adopt. The purpose of this chapter is to detail his ideal character and then, little by little, succeed in embodying him in whole or in part.
I think everything is played out in identity. It is easier to say that you don’t drink alcohol than to try to limit yourself to a drink for example. Just as it is easier to say that you are an author than to try to force yourself to write. When you embody an identity, you focus on respecting it and developing all the necessary features and behaviors.
Being aware of this identity that you want to embody, you have already carried out a good part of the path. It will only remain to experience it, live it, and refine it along the way so that it ends up looking very much like you.
As an author and podcaster, how do you apply the principles you share in your books on a daily basis?
Quentin Turquet: During my ideal days, I try to best follow the principles I have developed. Obviously, all the days are not ideal, and it would be absurd to mean that I respect them all and in all circumstances. All the principles I am are anchored in my identity and are part of me, so that they help me make decisions and channel my actions. It can happen to overflow, but I do my best. In any case, I feel more ready to face my fears, distraction, procrastination and everything that is likely to get in my way. I have acquired a certain form of inner peace because I know that even if it is not perfect today, I still advanced in the right direction.
And, in any case, the principles change during life. Nothing is immutable, not even us.
