Empty nest syndrome is a serious phenomenon that affects some parents when children are old enough to take off. The psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Sylvie Angel sheds light on us.
Seeing their children from the family home and leave the cocoonsome parents can experience what is called “the empty nest syndrome “. A mixture of several emotions, which can refer to a Baby Blues bis. In general, they experience the departure of their child as a break or a separation. The advice of Sylvie Angel, psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, founder of the Center for Family Therapy Monceau in Paris.
What is empty nest syndrome?
Empty nest syndrome refers to a disorder experienced by parents at the start of children, who can switch to depression. For the expert Sylvie Angel, this phenomenon is above all explained by a societal evolution: “Previously, the profession of children followed that of the parents. The departure of the child was therefore not experienced in the same way.” In a way, families remained united around the profession, transmitted from father to son or from mother to daughter. Nowadays, the passing of professional torch is no longer the rule.
Moreover, The way of considering the child within the family has also changed. “Before, we had a lot of children, sometimes up to 10 or 12“, Note the psychiatrist. In comparison, we tend today to have fewer children, the links that we weave with them are more intense, more personal, which can trigger empty nest syndrome in some parents.
Empty nest syndrome can start from the last child, Which is more frequent, but also sometimes when the first of the siblings departed. Parents who are affected may experience several symptoms. Very often, it is a mixture of emotions that contradict each other: The feeling of abandonment and pride, family anxiety, sadness and melancholy, loneliness and sometimes, depression.
How long can the empty nest syndrome last?
The duration is variable from one person to another. In some parents, empty nest syndrome and its symptoms will last a few weeks, and for others for several yearsif it is not supported.
Can empty nest syndrome go as far as depression?
In some cases, Empty nest syndrome can cause a depressive state in the parent. Depression being a psychic disease, some parents live, sometimes without understanding it, A form of rupture, even deep abandonment which undermines them. The concern is that “People often feel illegitimate to feel this void“Explains the psychiatrist. From there can also arise from conflicts in the couple: “he (the child, editor’s note) called you, he didn’t call me “… which ends up also creating family anxiety and great sadness. Symptoms specific to depression.
In addition, the specialist explains to us to see many unconscious strategies to keep children closer to themselves: “A mother breaks her leg just before her child leaves”she quotes as an example. Other parents also try to “keep control“On children, forcing them to return to wash their laundry at home, for example. That said, the psychiatrist warns: “Very few people are aware of it, it almost never happens that parents come to consult by being aware that their discomfort comes from the departure of children.”
Are single mothers more affected by empty nest syndrome?
Empty nest syndrome, which is an “extremely complicated” phenomenon according to Sylvie Angel, is even more so for single -parent families. There is a greater prevalence on the side of Mothers alone Who express their emotions more, and which are sometimes closer to children, they “mail” them. They can then live the departure of their children more difficult to leave. Mothers, but also fathers, can be affected by this syndrome, insists the expert.
What is the impact of empty nest syndrome in the couple?
When children end up leaving, some couples experience this famous empty nest syndrome. The couple is bound by the education of children, the latter take an important place in the habits and in the projects of the family and the parents. “When they go, the couple find themselves alone and must reinvent everything from their daily life“”. This also corresponds to a “compulsory” crisis of life: it is a new step for the couple which must rethink. Sometimes it can lead to rupture, It is a “separation accelerator”, underlines the psychiatrist who recognizes the difficulty of this test. “”Symbolically, seeing her children leave is to enter another phase of life, that of grandparents. This highlights anxiety of death, an impression of the last stage of life“, she illustrates.
How to prevent empty nest syndrome?
It is possible to prevent empty nest syndromeby anticipating the departure of children and questioning concretely to what we do afterwards. You can thus upstream provide occupations For you, or with friends, when your child is no longer there. Social relations and activities can help keep the course and feel fulfilled. In addition, you can also help your child settle in his new at home, to support him in his efforts, this can allow you to become aware of things and to better understand them.
Thanks to Sylvie Angel, psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, for her lighting.
