Catherine Hewitson
Leaders are operating in extraordinary times, contending with crammed diaries, complex decisions, exponential rises in data, disruptive change, and a volatile global environment. In the heat of this moment, our observation is that certain fundamental aspects of leadership are going missing, not through negligence (leaders in our networks are working harder than ever), but because of a perfect storm of global, organizational, and personal pressure, together with tricky tensions to navigate.
Our experience is that leaders do not have enough time to think, enough time to build trust, and perhaps most concerningly, not enough time for themselves. Taking time for yourself as a leader—with the associated benefits of building resilience, sustaining performance, and gaining perspective—can be the hardest habit to create or reclaim. There are external causes for this, which we will explore, underpinned by our ambivalence about the legitimacy of taking time to look after ourselves in a world full of situations and people that demand our attention.
At first glance, the global evidence may suggest that we are investing in ourselves more than ever before. The wellness industry, encompassing better health, fitness, nutrition, appearance, and mindfulness, has been valued by McKinsey at $1.5 trillion, with an expected annual growth rate of 5–10%, which seems to indicate a significant interest in self-improvement. However, the same research uncovered that worldwide consumers don’t experience the expected uplifts, with most reporting stagnation or decline. Add to this the curated pictures of friends and acquaintances completing their marathon training or early morning cold plunges, and the dissatisfaction with ourselves increases.
At an organizational level, rapid technological development and a pandemic that locked us down at home have made the blurred lines between work and home life harder to distinguish. How do you know if you’re at home or at work when the location is exactly the same and your cell phone devices mean you can log on, be contacted, and produce output at any time of the day? Where does work actually stop when your phone sits next to you, bleeping with incoming messages throughout the evening? Given this intensity and the pressure we might feel as leaders to be available and accessible at all times, quieter time for ourselves is easily squeezed out.
We have also identified three personal tensions that leaders have to resolve before they can properly prioritize time for themselves.
First, the guilty factor: Our conversations with leaders have explored the dilemma that taking time for themselves feels indulgent. How can putting yourself at the center be justified when there are so many other calls on your attention and when others need you? We encounter leadership discomfort with the idea of leaving teams to fend for themselves while taking time out for ourselves. And perhaps there’s a lingering belief that good leadership looks strong, capable, adaptable, and that taking personal time might be perceived as hesitant or flaky, as well as selfish.
Yet research indicates that leaders who do care for themselves have a positive impact on employees, who also experience higher staff care, lower strain, and better health.
We call our second tension the ‘Self-What?’ factorand it arises when leaders question who and what they should be spending time on if they do carve out diary space. To address this tension, it is vital to slow down, recognize the question, and give it serious consideration. We recommend starting with the basics: What do you need to do your best work? What do you need to prioritize to be the best possible version of yourself? What purpose are you drawn to? This is the self that can recognize its strengths and gifts and be kind about its limitations, that wants to fulfill its potential and sees the powerful and positive effects of doing that.
There’s no one-size-fits-all solution when we work out how to care for ourselves—our clients and colleagues describe an eclectic range of activities, from Pilates, yoga, hiking, and swimming at time with favorite people, reading, sitting in a sunlit space, and doing very little at all. The essential step is taking time to examine what is important at an individual level and to question what is required to stop self-neglect.
“Small and determined steps can bring clarity, composure in the face of adversity, better decisions, more patience and empathy with others, and ultimately more enjoyment of hard-won success.”
Of course, taking this step means you have to decide that caring for yourself as a leader is a valuable, worthwhile, and legitimate use of your time.
As we allow ourselves this time and space, there is a final obstacle to consider: the practical factor. We reach this hurdle when we believe that we don’t have time to do the things that will really make a difference, and with a final wise glance at a colleague’s morning walk on Instagram, we go back to our habitual self-neglect. To break this cycle, we believe it’s important not to dream big but to start small, and to begin with self-awareness and experimentation.
Once you give yourself permission to take time and work out what might be fulfilling, restorative, or enjoyable, the key is to make your practice habitual. It’s our conviction that positive habits are achieved not through self-motivation but through structure and process. We recommend three steps to embed better habits: identifying what you currently do, then being explicit about your intentions and tracking progress, and finally reviewing and adjusting.
The first step is to track your existing habits and the daily micro-choices that determine where and how you spend your time. Our book The Neglected Acts of Leadership and How Music Can Help You Rediscover Them includes a structured habit tracker so you can record and gather your data. Taking this approach not only creates insight and opportunities for change but also reinforces your commitment to taking time for yourself seriously. Understanding the existing patterns in your practice can help you to see what is consuming all your time and energy, and whether that activity is productive and helpful. Importantly, it is also a way to spot habits or choices that you can adjust or build on—taking five minutes to gather your thoughts before diving into daily emails, using the first minutes of your day to send a couple of appreciative messages to colleagues before wading into the latest crisis, listening to a three-minute song that lifts and inspires you between your meetings.
These are small and almost effortless changes, yet the benefits accumulate over time.
“It’s far better to scale down good habits and keep them, rather than give up the things that rejuvenate us because we can’t achieve a perfect schedule of positive action.”
As you become clearer about what works for you, embedding the habit can be helped by techniques like Implementation Intentions. Stating clearly and precisely what you intend to do and when you intend to do it has proven successful in increasing the likelihood that we act and stick with it. Tracking progress and rewarding yourself is also likely to boost sustained changes.
Finally, maintaining momentum is essential, and this involves being kind to ourselves and innovative in our thinking. We know that for leaders, no single day, month, or year is identical to another, and that working life is unpredictable and frequently disrupted. It’s far better to scale down good habits and keep them, rather than give up the things that rejuvenate us because we can’t achieve a perfect schedule of positive action.
Given the relentless pace of modern working life and the intensity that leaders are operating in, simply pushing through until the next holiday or imagining a future moment where we can spend more time on ourselves is no longer sufficient. Neglecting yourself can lead to jeopardy for your own health and wellbeing and have consequences for the people and organizations you are responsible for. In contrast, small and determined steps can bring clarity, composure in the face of adversity, better decisions, more patience and empathy with others, and ultimately more enjoyment of hard-won success.
Biography
Catrina Hewitson is a Lead Consultant for The Oxford Group and co-author of the book, The Neglected Acts of Leadership.
