It’s a pain shared between the mother and the father… And we don’t really know who suffers the most!
All mothers will agree that the pain of childbirth is particularly intense. And sometimes, the epidural is not enough to relieve the contractions which can drag on for hours, making the mother-to-be exhausted, at the end of her strength… In France, the father present during the birth plays an essential role in help the mother get through the process by reassuring her, holding her hand, massaging her back or going to alert the nurses of the baby’s arrival. But they often feel helpless, some lose their minds at birth, while others don’t really know how to find the words. “How are you ? Aren’t you in too much pain?”
Far from here, in a tribe called Huichol, fathers actually share the pain of childbirth. This tradition of this indigenous people continues in the Sierra Madre Occidental, in the state of Jalisco in Mexico. And we cannot say whether they do not suffer more than the woman. Indeed, among the Huichols, childbirth goes beyond a simple medical event: it is a moment imbued with spirituality, symbolism and sharing, which actively involves the father in the birth process.
How is the birth going? While the woman lies down to give birth to her child, the future father is perched above her, often sitting on a beam of the house. A rope, which the woman holds in her hands, is attached to his testicles. And with each contraction, she shares her pain with her husband by pulling on the extremities to make him feel symbolic pain. This practice aims to involve the father emotionally and physically in the birth effort.
This tradition also illustrates the Huichols’ respect for the union between the sexes and their egalitarian vision of parenthood. So, if the father of your children tells you one day that childbirth is not as painful as you think, or that he “shares” your pain, remind him of this tradition. There is a good chance that he will avoid tugging too hard on the heartstrings…
