Also this morning the media tell us about a femicide. The victim is 14 years old. The killer has 18. A girl has never returned home after meeting her ex -boyfriend. The wake of blood that the news brings into our lives, in our homes, in our families is endless every day. But what is striking is that more and more to make news of bloody deaths are very young guys. Guys who should be on the launch ramp to start their life project and who have already lost it instead. Martina died forever. His killer will live an infinite time in prison due to the severity of the crime committed. The most serious ever. Broken screws. Families devoured by pain. Interrupted life projects.
Again, the reason seems to be the inability to accept the end of a relationship. However, we are talking about very young people. A 14 -year -old girl with an 18 -year -old: why does an adolescent love story become, when it ends, the scenario in which a murder is consumed?
I think there are three aspects to consider. The first aspect is early adultization that accelerates everything in the lives of the very young. So a teenage crush is experienced as if it were a complete love. And inside, in this need to feel great within things that should be small, everything becomes gigantic: to put together, the stable couple, live sexuality, arguing for issues that are probably futile, however, they decline in huge, gigantic, overwhelming experiences. There is the acceleration of the agitates, or of what is done. But also the amplification of emotional experiences, that is, of what you feel. Everything seems enormous, because you live it in an enormous waywhen our brain – at that age – has the ability to produce small and immature thoughts.
This is the second aspect that should be underlined. Our children – so accelerated and who at 14 live stories of couple who follow adult codes and scripts – Psychically, however, they are very fragile and immature. We should help them enter life in small steps, teaching them and inviting them to do things within the reach of their ability to know how to manage them within the restricted space of the cognitive imagination that physiologically connotes them. Instead, our children run, burn stages in a time that does not allow you to go slowly, but that enhances the completely fast myth, completely and immediately. And that finds an enormous effort of the adult world in supporting a growth that knows how to wait and does not burn the stages in the desire to live quickly what instead asks to be discovered calmly.
Finally, stories like these tell us how much emotional, emotional and sexual disadvantage – that sees the males “take” the girls, demand them even when they tell you no, to remain blind of jealousy in the face of a refusal, do not hold the breakdown of a bond – complaints A very urgent educational work on the emotional, emotional, sexual and gender education front.
The fact remains, which also in this case, in the face of the inability to be in the principle of reality associated with the end of a love, a young male – recently adult – strikes and kills because within that principle of reality we cannot stay, it does not know how to live in it. So the strength that kills also becomes in this case the manifesto of a generation that – characterized by a huge fragility – transforms the sense of impotence into murderer power.
(Cover photo, ANSA)
