It is a moment of intense tension every year for high school students. But the expectation of the bac results can become a nightmare if the parents accentuate this pressure …
Each year, the announcement of bac results is a source of stress and tensions for candidates. And very often, parents’ stress is added to that of candidates. And for good reason: for many fathers and mothers, the success of his child often goes through the baccalaureate diploma. The other source of stress for parents at the time of the result of the bac is more psychological: according to the psychoanalyst and writer Claude Halmos, specialist in childhood, a feeling of guilt can settle in the minds of parents about the studies of their offspring. Add to that a bad experience of the bac or studies in the parents’ past and the cocktail of anxieties can be explosive.
So how can you avoid communicating your child stress? As a parent, you have to know how to reason. Because some bac candidates consider that their parents are more a source of anxiety than of encouragement. On the web, many testimonies illustrate this statistic with the results of the bac or the results of the patent: the impression of having “a sword of Damocles above the head”, “that the parents are even more stressed” than the student, that they will “also pass the exam”, that a mother is “as a pressure cooker ready to explode” … It is therefore advisable to communicate serenely with her child and Another adult to talk about the bac with him. Another primordial advice: above all, do not accentuate the surveillance of duties or revisions before the exam.
Without disinterested in your child, especially try to step back and not go to consult the results on the internet in their place: it is up to your child and alone to announce the news, whether good or bad. According to Angélique Kosinski Cimelière, clinical psychologist for children and adolescents, consulting the results of the bac on her side would be an “intrusion into children’s lives” and an act of “de -reporting of the adolescent”. The bac would allow the teenager to enter the adult world. “It is therefore up to him and alone to assume his results, and to announce them to his parents.” Except, of course, if it is he who requests it. In case of failure, you must also know how to react with measure: you must take the necessary step back and dissociate the result of the child’s bac in itself.
On the side of students too, techniques allow you to unlock the stress of parents. In a previous interview with the newspaper Le Monde, Claude Halmos advised students to control their emotions in the face of parents so as not to communicate their stress to them. You also have to try to put your requirements towards yourself into perspective, which may also allow parents to do the same. This recoil can be summed up in a sentence: “On the scale of a life, who cares about who had his bac at the first time? Person”thus lets go of Claude Halmos who still warns that too much casualness in front of the bac and his results can also plunge parents into stress. The fact remains that we must not forget that at the time of the results of the bac, the games are already made.
