My daughter is 7 years old. Since she was hospitalized three years ago due to a serious infection that put her life in danger for a few days, me I live in a state of constant anxiety.
If my daughter just has a simple cold, my head starts to go off on a tangent and I fear that that banal symptom could hide who knows what very serious pathology…
About a month ago I embarked on a journey with a psychologist, because I fear that my anxiety could harm his peace of mind. But at the moment nothing has changed. I wish you had a magic formula to gain the serenity that I have lost. I know well that I cannot prevent some events from happening, but I live with the constant fear that they will happen and that they will lead to irreparable consequences. How should I do it?
Joanna
– Dear Giovanna, I understand how strong your anxiety about protecting your little girl must be. After all, what happened to you a few years ago must probably have been an event with a very high traumatic impact, for you as the mother.
I would like to have a magic formula, but psychology does not produce magical interventions, but rather helps to acquire awareness and regain control of one’s mental functioning, helping us to keep our emotions in a state of regulation, a task that at the moment seems impossible to you.
I know how it feels when a child is ill because I am a father of 4 children and, faced with some of their illnesses, I have often felt great fear and a profound sense of helplessness that left me at the mercy of my emotions.
It was my children who taught me that, in difficult situations, they don’t need an adult full of anxiety and fear, but an adult who is aware and capable of controlling himself, who knows how to stay by their side and helps them understand that with the care of the doctors they will do everything they need to get back to well.
In your specific case, I think it could be useful for you to check with your psychologist whether some of the emotions experienced during your daughter’s illness a few years ago are not still there to disturb your present.
Clinically, your problem may be related to post-traumatic stress disorder. If so, it might be useful to integrate the classical psychotherapy that you are carrying out, based on the clinical interview with a specialist, with a few sessions of Emdrun psychotherapeutic method that helps to desensitize oneself from traumatic experiences through eye movements.
You may also need to increase social relationships and involve yourself in activities with other mothers who will help you regulate your anxiety and with their example and closeness will help you understand how not to ignite anxiety in the absence of a valid reason.
