Slamming doors, contested rules, discussions that degenerate: conflicts between parents and adolescents are part of the daily life of many families and sometimes weigh heavily on family life. A study carried out in Switzerland now makes it possible to identify the precise age when tensions within the parent-child relationship reach their peak.
Adolescence is often experienced as a delicate period for family balance and the relationship between parents and children. Parents see their child seeking more autonomy, questioning authority and expressing emotions more rawly. For their part, adolescents try to assert themselves, sometimes clumsily, in a family and parental framework that they perceive as too restrictive. Result: disagreements over outings, screens, house rules or school rules can quickly fuel recurring conflicts between parents and children. Swiss researchers wanted to understand precisely when conflicts between parents and children reach their peak, and how the situation then evolves over the years.
The study, carried out by a Swiss research team and published in a scientific journal specializing in child and adolescent psychiatry, is based on the monitoring of more than 1,500 young people. Scientists were interested in physical gestures directed against parents during family disputes, as well as threatening behavior occurring within the home. First observation, far from trivial: around a third of the young people concerned have had at least one episode of this type during their life.
The researchers describe a fairly clear curve. Aggressive behavior increases at the beginning of adolescence, a period marked by a strong search for autonomy, rules more often contested and emotional regulation capacities still under construction. At this time, more than 15% of young people exhibit this type of behavior. Then the frequency gradually drops. As we enter adulthood, physical attacks against parents become much rarer and only concern a small minority. For most families, these episodes remain isolated and do not become a lasting part of the relationship between parents and adolescents. It is also at the age of 13 that this curve reaches its highest point. At this stage, tensions are more frequent, reactions more impulsive and conflicts can quickly exceed the verbal framework between teenagers and their parents.
However, researchers urge us not to trivialize all situations. If a one-off slip-up can be part of the classic tensions of adolescence, the repetition of attacks changes the situation. Among young people who have already behaved aggressively towards their parents, a significant proportion have done so several times. It is these repeated situations, especially when they intensify over time, which should raise alarm. Even if these tensions are part of the adjustments linked to the transition from childhood to adulthood, the situation tends to improve when the parent-child relationship stabilizes, when disagreements are resolved other than through physical confrontation and when parents remain present, attentive and supportive.
