Several profiles are exposed to this phenomenon, starting with great empaths or emotional people for whom emotions are central to their existence. The psychologist and psychoanalyst Saverio Tomasella deciphers these psychological mechanisms.
When we think of an emotionally unstable person, we imagine someone whose emotions are on a roller coaster. However, in psychology, this term is inaccurate. Dr. Saverio Tomasella, doctor of clinical psychology, is categorical: “This terminology does not exist because, by definition, emotions are unstable.” However, some people actually feel invaded or overwhelmed by their emotions, with immediate repercussions on those around them.. “They tend to be intrusive towards others”notes the expert. By insisting on fear or anger, “It’s becoming intrusive.”
Several profiles are exposed to this phenomenon, starting with great empaths or “emotional people” for whom “emotions are central to their existence”. This problem often has its roots in education, because “there are cultures and families where we are more into drama, into the theatrical expression of emotions”a climate which conditions the adult to reproduce this intensity. The origin can also be traumatic, making some people “more impacted by their emotions, without being more empathetic than average”. Added to this is the hormonal factor, particularly during menstrual cycles, pregnancy and menopause in women. This does not mean that they are more unstable but that they are more emotional at these times in their lives. Finally, so-called “highly sensitive” people (30% of the population) who, by nature, experience more intense, more varied and more lasting emotions than others.
Three signs characterize an emotionally unstable person in psychology. First, it presents a great variability of emotions throughout the day. “She can go from laughter to tears, from anger to joy, to shame. She is really upset by emotions.“Added to this is the duration. You should know that an emotion takes 2 to 3 minutes to be processed physiologically. In an emotionally unstable person, it lasts longer. “If it lasts, it’s because we maintain it” underlines the psychoanalyst. Third sign: the person feels uncomfortable with their emotions. “When we feel uncomfortable with our emotion, and it overwhelms us, it becomes problematic.” A feeling of urgency may even arise. “There is a vicious circle, the emergency situation reinforces the emotional discomfort. We have the impression that it is difficult to escape from this spiral.”
To escape from this whirlwind, Dr. Tomasella advises accepting your emotions, “but not to express them for too long”. The idea is not to ruminate, because prolonged expression maintains the feeling. The rule is simple: “Once the emotion is expressed, we move on.” To unload without burdening those close to you, the psychoanalyst suggests confiding in a trusted person or using writing as an outlet. Writing down what you feel in a journal, without rereading it, allows you to apply this liberating principle: “I write my emotion and I free myself from it”he concludes.
