They thought they were forming a united family. But after the marriage of their children, everything changed. Reproaches, silence, distance, several parents confide what they are going through.
They saw nothing coming. One day, their children left the house. A little later, they got married, and since then, their relationship has completely changed. More calls, more visits, more news … These parents, who thought they had done everything to create a united family, found themselves sidelining without having their say. As if they no longer had their place in the life of their own child. For them, the happiness of their children was accompanied by a huge void. A silent, even brutal fracture, even in front of which parents’ questions often remain unanswered.
On the forum “Maman” of the Women’s Journal, several parents shared their story. In the majority of cases, the rupture occurred at the time of their child’s marriage. Sometimes tensions already existed. Others, however, had seen nothing coming. This was the case for Daniella. “I am 69 years old, I am a widow, and I feel completely sidelined by my son since he got married. Before, we were close to me. Today, I am only invited to keep their seven children. No nice word, no thank you, not even a gift at Christmas. My daughter-in-law criticizes me as soon as I am a few minutes ahead, and my son blames me with her adolescence”she testifies. And when her son and his partner come back to her, the tensions start again. “When they want to talk to me, I feel judged. I lose my means, I say anything. If I am silent, I pass for a submissive mother. If I speak, I am wrong, whatever I say.”
Unfortunately, Daniella is not the only one to live this type of situation. In many testimonies, an element comes up frequently: the daughter-in-law. It is often perceived as the trigger factor of tensions between the parent and the married child. “Since he got married, I no longer recognize my son. He was raised in tolerance and respect for the other, but today he has become aggressive, closed, as endoctrine. His wife cut him off from us”, Tells another mother, who no longer has any connection with her granddaughters. Birthdays, Christmas, baptisms … It is excluded from all family events. “”It is as if our family no longer existed “, adds the young grandmother.
Another user, Lorabelle, expressed this same feeling on our forum. She also puts the fault on her son’s partner. “I loved my daughter-in-law like my own daughter. From the start, I welcomed her with open arms. She often came to the house, we shared meals, simple moments. When she married my son, I was sincerely happy. For me, she was an extra girl in the family” Tells Lorabelle. But their relationship completely changed after marriage.
“”My son has left us a single memory overnight. We have never been invited to them. My daughter-in-law has also disappeared from our lives without a word. Today, she completely ignores us. ” A brutal cut which, as in many other parents, leaves deep wounds. “I do not understand how a person we loved so much, to whom we have given everything, can erase us in this way. It is a huge pain”, commented Lorabelle.
