The empathy of gifted children is not limited to simple compassion; it is a visceral resonance with the world, capable of perceiving the slightest suffering but also of exposing itself to formidable predators. Between the gift of lucidity and emotional weakness, how can we tame this hypersensitivity so that it does not become a burden?
We are no longer surprised by the empathy shown by gifted children: it would be part of their personality dominated by emotions that they do not always know how to control and of their hypersensitivity. They seem to suffer from a thousand situations that would not even cause a shudder in others. A dying flower, an overly tormented tree distresses them and what about a suffering or injured animal. They grieve without reserve when one of their comrades is affected by a tragedy, we are surprised, but we must know that they could not remain indifferent. Their very nature means thatthey deeply feel any attack on the physical or moral integrity of a living being and sometimes a broken doll saddens them, it too had a soul since we loved it.
We understand that they are incapable of harassing anyone, of inflicting the slightest punishment on anyone, but obviously the defense of justice sometimes forces them to be harsher than they would like, that is the price of efficiency. They have spent all their strength and all their talents to win in a competition without succumbing to the temptation to spare themselves, they are victorious, but their triumph is tinged with a shadow: the sadness of losers which they feel acutely.
They have to battle with themselves for a long time, they are told that they need to learn to manage their emotions, but we neglect the effects of this limitless empathy : later, it risks making them the prey of unscrupulous perverts who will have detected this stupid flaw and who will exploit it while ignoring all remorse. This too kind and too gullible imbecile was looking for it.
All the fibers of their being are impregnated by this empathy: certainly, it makes them the privileged target of evil beings, but it allows them to grasp the emotions, even deeply buried, of those around them, to understand repressed feelings, to grasp unsaid sentences and to react according to what they have so naturally perceived that they are not surprised by this clarity in the understanding of others.
It is the incredulity of some, incapable of conceiving what has not been clearly stated, because they are fundamentally rational, logical and Cartesian, they say with confidence, which makes them think that this characteristic is not shared by everyone, that it would even be quite rare since it is surprising and seems inexplicable. These constant and always accurate flashes cannot be attributed to chance.
It’s not exactly intuition, it is accompanied by deep pain when the other feels itby depriving the empath of the resources to combat suffering, while the one who really suffers finds how to draw from within himself means that are specific to him and which can help and support him.
This empathy escapes all reasoning, moreover certain animals who are used to sharing the lives of humans are endowed with it: they are not rational, they do not have a language similar to that of men, but they perfectly understand the feelings of humans, they even care for them quite naturally if the need arises, they console them and know how to alleviate any pain, without anyone being surprised by these reactions or questioning them. This is empathy in its purest form.
Too empathetic or not at all, a total misunderstanding
On the other hand, and ultimately even more surprisingly, some people are completely devoid of empathy: they do not understand the reactions of others and can inflict suffering, moral or physical, without needing to force their nature. The very nature of total empathy is difficult for most to grasp, but the complete absence of this empathy is also difficult to conceive. We talk about cruelty, sadism, perverts are perfect examples, plus they enjoy the reactions caused by their misdeeds, it is their favorite food. We cannot expect anything from them, they ignore remorse and, if they express regret and reproach themselves, it is because they were caught in the manifest exercise of their perversity without being able to deny or justify it, but they continue to remain indifferent to the suffering they have inflicted.
An entire universe separates these two categories, no dialogue is possible, it is an absolute incomprehension on both sides, the concepts are not the same, the meaning of the words used to communicate is different, those who are devoid of it absolutely do not understand the empathy of the other, they do not grasp the emotions that accompany it, what is evoked as a profound upheaval seems to them futile, superficial and without foundation: a passing whim in a way.
Thus, abandoning an animal which has intimately shared his life for years because it has become a nuisance poses no problem, he does not see why he should feel any guilt and he considers stupid and childish anyone who rebels with unfeigned indignation: he would pretend to really sympathize with the pain of the abandoned animal, what nonsense!
The empath pleads for order to reign, in accordance with the harmony that should guide the world and he acts in such a way as to preserve as best as possible this good order which prevents him from suffering. He who remains foreign to these concerns wishes to preserve his own order, and he considers himself within his rights since it assures him the greatest comfort. The others are dangerous utopians since they question his conception of existence, while he is right, he knows that one should never mix feelings into his daily life; we risk being entangled in a tangle of emotions, sometimes intense, always disproportionate and above all unfounded.
Managing excess empathy in gifted children
Most gifted children, and the adults they become, must train themselves to fight against this excess of empathy which can prove to generate suffering without a proven remedy. Only effective control of one’s emotions can curb the harmful effects of empathy that has become too invasive. Reason must absolutely prevail. There is no shortage of techniques, but empathy is stubborn, it does not give ground easily, it clings to the heart and the entire body.. Combating its effects is a tough activity, but it is possible and we can emerge victorious: physical and cerebral means, exercises similar to those practiced by high-level athletes, help those who wish to advance society as a whole by creating a soothing harmony and not a few individuals who mainly seek to benefit from its benefits.
Advice : It is preferable not to wait and to introduce these control methods to help a child who is too empathetic because of the risk of harassment, but this same empathy can be encouraged when it is well mastered, it helps to avoid misunderstandings, sources of conflict, it brings appreciable peace in any group.
