Many people are affected by a fear of very specific commitment: gamophobia, that is to say the fear of getting married. How to explain it? Psychologist Victoria Guernon sheds light on us.
Say “yes!” For life, engaging “for better and for worse” and “until death separates us” … This idea scares certain people. The phenomenon is known, but there are few who can boast of knowing that the fear of getting married has a name: gamophobia. Getting to spend the rest of your life with the person we love is a magnificent and very romantic gesture for the majority of us. But many people are conversely panicked at the idea of taking the plunge.
How to explain it? According to Victoria Guernon, clinical psychologist, there are several possible factors. “One of the major reasons is family experiences lived during childhood or adolescence. People who grow up in difficult, conflicting, or who have witnessed difficult divorces can associate marriage with negative experience , so that they develop an apprehension of this commitment. Abandon … “explains our expert.
The fear of marriage can also be linked to societal and cultural expectations, to the pressure to make this commitment last at a time when divorces are more and more common, so that we say that the chances of success are weak. “This is ultimate proof of his commitment. If we get married, it is that everything must be perfect”the psychologist tells us. Victoria Guernon also explains that marriage can be seen “As a restriction of personal autonomy”while people claim more “Their singularity, their freedom”. And who is affected by this fear of marriage? According to Victoria Guernon, she can touch anyone: “There is the very widespread idea that it is men who are afraid of marriage, of commitment. It is a perception linked to traditional social roles. But, in fact, this is not at all the case. It affects both men and women “.
Contrary to what one might think, being a gamophobic does not necessarily mean that we are afraid of all other forms of engagement: buying goods with your partner, having children, sign a contract on permanent contract in a company … For Victoria Guernon, this is explained by the fact that marriage is a very specific form of commitment. It evokes societal developments, which make it having children or buying accommodation with its spouse is no longer necessarily the logical continuation of a wedding, but simply an experience among many others, for which we are not Obliged to pass the mayor.
