Parent’s life is enamelled with errors, questioning, doubts. But, according to experts, applying these simple tips already puts on the right track.
There are a thousand and one ways to be a parent, and there is no recipe or instructions for use. The new generations of parents sometimes tend to ask too much, to want to be perfect, with always a question that hovers above their heads and anxieties: do I do enough? Do I do a good job? Scientists and experts have looked into the issue and have reached the conclusion that being a good parent ultimately is due to small things. The clinical and developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind has theorized the four parental – democratic, permissive, authoritarian and distant styles, studying the impact of each style on the development of the child. And it came to the conclusion that it is necessary to find a balance between heat and authority to allow a healthy development of the human being. Love, cherish, but set limits. To achieve this, it would therefore be necessary to apply four tips, such as the American Fortune site details.
To start, fully invest the relationship with your child. Brenna Hicks, therapist by the game, believes that when a parent invests in his relationship with his child by loving him and accepting him unconditionally, everything else follows. “”If they know, even in their worst moments – whether they are angry, cry, be upset or disobey – that you will not change the relationship you have with them, it will motivate them a lot to behave in order to improve and flourish“, she explains. But of course, that does not mean that everything is intended to accept, on the contrary. The parent must be there to set limits.
Then encourage your child to develop their individuality and autonomy. “It is about listening to your child, what drives him and fascinates him, and to support him rather than imposing his own idea of what he should be“Explains Emily Edlynn, clinical psychologist. The objective is to allow him to be himself in your presence. He will be more confident to confide.”If he is ready to come and see you and tell you “I got started” or “I made a big mistake”, it shows that he knows that you will like it and will accept such that he is, without judging him “observes the specialist.
Another tip: try to do your best, and repair when you do nonsense. Parents go through several phases, sometimes in the same day. They are sometimes permissive, sometimes authoritarian. But what matters is balance. To assume and recognize his mistakes in front of children, to show his own vulnerability is also to teach them empathy. “Love is trying again”, explains Eileen Kennedy-Moore.
Finally, do not put your own needs aside. It has never been so stressful to be a parent. “Development science shows that when parents are stressed, it is more difficult for them to have healthy relationships”explains Terra Sabol. “The pressure exerted on the parents so that they are perfectly goes against what they seek to do”she adds. His advice? When you have trouble finding the balance in your way of being a parent, between too many limits and not enough complicity, take the time to think of yourself. “Call on your reserves, take a break, a walk, a nap. And above all, have fun”, insists the specialist.
