During the pregnancy of their partner, some future dads do what is called a brood. What it is, how it manifests itself, what to do when it happens … Nathalie Lancelin-Huin, psychologist specializing in perinatal, helps us to see more clearly.
When we talk about brood in menan image often comes to mind: A man who sees his belly rounded off at the same time as that of the future mother, who gain weightand who also suffers from morning nausea. Yet, there brood,, It’s much more than that. For future parents to understand better what is going on in the head of the dad in the future, Nathalie Lancelin-Huinpsychologist specialized in perinatal and author of the book Pregnant, travel to the heart of emotions (editions Horay))sheds light on us.
What is a brood?
During the pregnancy of their partner, some future dads make a broode. That is, they have certain pregnancy symptomsclose or assimilated to those of the pregnant woman.
Why do some men gain weight during their wife’s pregnancy?
“We have often pointed out the physical signs, like the weight gain, Which made us interpret that man could feel pregnant, and therefore he took kilos just like his wife. We gave several explanations to this, such as the fact that he could feel frustrated not to wear the child, or that it was his way of supporting his wife … HAS My opinion is not fair “explains Nathalie Lancelin-Huin. For there psychologist, these symptoms should not be assimilated to those of pregnancybut see them as being specific to man. “There is a parental process, for a father as for a mother, but there is not the same experience of pregnancy to achieve parenting. A man experiences pregnancy by proxy, because he does not wear the childand a woman lives her carnally, in her body, because she carries life. This does not mean that the future Father is experiencing fewer things than it, but simply that they have a different experience. His partner cannot put his belly does not Could only five minutes, while He can choose to get into this experience, or not “she explains. These symptoms that we see appear in a man who makes a broodso these are simply the expression of his sensitivity, the emotions he feels of the idea of becoming a daddy. “For me, the broodhe is a man who is becoming a father “summarizes the specialist.
Contrary to what one might think, symptoms of a brood Do not always look like those of pregnancy and, above all, are very different according to each man. Our psychologist gives a list non-exhaustive :: “Weight gain is what we hold the most, but it can also be other things like More important emotions and sensitivity, depression, great anxiety, many questions, a man who turns to alcohol, work …“.
Why do some men make browsing?
“For several centuries, men were not invited to follow pregnancy. They were introduced to the baby after birth. It was only for a few decades that they have returned to the delivery room. Today, after we are interested in the health of women in diapers, that of the newborn, and in the feeling of pregnant women, We are interested in what the future dad can feel “,, Nathalie analysis Lancelin-Huin. The fact that men make broodsand that we are aware of it, is a step in the right direction. However, everything is not yet won since, if a future father makes a brood,, It is generally because it does not happen or because he cannot express his emotions. Even today, men are not always encouraged to talk about what they feel. However, pregnancy is a moment of upheavals, for both parents. And when you cannot express themselves orally, it is the body that does it for us. “There broodit is very beautiful, because it shows us that our body is a box of resonance with emotions that we do not say. And when the tolerance threshold of what we can accumulate is overwhelmed, the body tells it “explain there psychologist. If some men make broodsit is therefore a way that their bodies to show emotions. In addition, these are not necessarily negative feelings. “It is not necessarily that it goes bad for him, that it is difficult or that he does not succeed. It can also be because it is overwhelmed in the face of everything that awaits it “, Add the specialist.
When a future mother perceives that something is wrong, that her companion changes during pregnancy, or when he gain weight during these nine months, The most important thing is to talk about it. “It must be told that she realizes it, that she understands that things are not so easy for him, that he may keep a lot for him”explains Nathalie Lancelin-Huin. Once the dialogue is open“She can simply ask him how he goes, how he lives this pregnancy, if things can worry about the baby … If we open the door to dads with tranquility and without judgment, they confide!“”,, says the specialist.
Should a man who brings a brood to consult a psychologist?
Go see a psychologist to evoke what the future dad feels maybe A good idea for a man who makes a brood. However, this is not the only thing to do, says Nathalie Lancelin-Huin. If he doesn’t want to consult, he can try to find someone to talk to it: A friend, a colleague, his father … The main thing is “Find someone to whom they will be able to confide.” By accompanying his partner during Pregnancy follow-uphe can also evoke the subject: “”This is not often that gynecologists ask dads how they are, but it is more and more “. Midwives are also good interlocutors in this case, because “They are sensitive to the father’s question”. Finally, it is possible to talk about it with your general practitioner. After finding a person to confide in, It is important that the future father discusses it with his partneradvise there psychologist. “It is the one with whom he shares his life, he is the best placed person, normally, to understand it, and it is also the first concerned by what happens to them, because it is their baby to both”. We must therefore succeed in talking about it within the couple. “This moment of confidence and confidence will then allow them to feel closer”.
