Let’s take this opportunity to lighten this mental charge …
In a society where letting go is difficult, we spend too much time to worry about things that are ultimately not that important as that.
- What others think of me: “We spend a lot of time worrying about what others think of us, immediately underlines Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist. We believe that people are constantly judging us, while this phenomenon is largely overestimated in relation to reality“To worry about the eyes of others can harm our emotional well-being. The need for external approval leads to emotional dependence and a decrease in self-esteem. Frequently freeing ourselves from external judgments helps us to become aware of our true value.”When we strongly care about what others think, we are ultimately very self-central on ourselves. Indeed, people think less of us than what we believe. Even if they have an opinion, the latter must not impact our moods or our decisions“Continues the doctor in clinical psychology and psychoanalyst and creator of the podcast” You told me … “.
- Advanced in time: aging does not attach beauty. On the contrary, some people get into time. “”We spend a lot of time wanting to control the signs of age or trying to erase what seems to us to be a physical defect. Of course, you have to take care of yourself, try to have a good lifestyle and why not some beauty care routines, but without it becoming obsessive.“By accepting as we are, we become more authentic and even more fulfilled.
- Canability for trivialities: “Ruminating for such situations will only add to our discomfort. We have the right to be wrong, to do something through. We must not self-flagelle for things say or do clumsily. Let us not forget that errors are to be replaced in context, it is a detail that should no longer worry us“, She continues.
- Anticipating the worst: anticipation is used to avoid unnecessary stress and to manage your time well whether in the family or professional field. However, too much anticipate or anticipate the worst in all situations surrounds us with a rather anxiety-provoking and counterproductive climate. “”Always considering disaster scenarios makes us waste time and energy that we could use elsewhere. Indeed, we spend hours anticipating the worst which, in the vast majority of cases, do not happen. It is underestimated our skills and our resources. If anticipation is reassuring for some people, it is not necessary to give too much importance to what is not worth it“Recommend the psychologist.
- Wanting to be productive and effective for everything: we risk being ineffective in important fields of our life. “”We absolutely have to give ourselves the right to do nothing sometimes, to be idle or to remain quiet to read a book. This injunction should be stopped with permanent efficiency. Not everything should be a productivity race. Furthermore, you should not feel guilty or ruminated to do nothing or simply take advantage of the present moment. These moments are beneficial and do not question our values or our skills. “
- Being perfect in all areas of life: it is impossible. Wanting to progress is beneficial, but giving oneself unattainable objectives will only arouse unimportant concerns. “”Compared to what you perceive from others or what we can see by scrolling on social networks is really useless, because it is only an illusory perfection. It inhibits everything we are able to do. “Then drop perfectionism in favor of authenticity!
- Be hyperconnected: Digital detox alleviates us very effectively from a significant mental load. And for good reason, this untimely solicitation invites us to respond immediately to messages, emails or notifications that appear on the smartphone. “”All around the smartphone can become anxiety -provoking, if you answer or if you don’t respond … everything can generate anxiety“Complete the psychologist.
If this object has its use on a daily basis, there are tips for making digital breaks, such as removing notifications or putting your laptop in “do not disturb” on weekends or in the evening. We cannot stop worrying on order. On the other hand, we can choose to lighten ourselves and give less importance to these unnecessary thoughts. “”It is better to devote your energy to things on which we can act. Nor should we deny our concerns, but rather identify those that lock us in negative ruminations in order to get rid of them“Recommends Amélie Boukhobza of the Instagram account @confidences.psy.
