What is slow parenting?

THE Slow Parenting is a movement Set up in the United States a few years ago, after specialists have sounded the alarm on the limits of living too quickly and doing too well. A frantic rhythm generating a stress important. Slow Parenting’s objective: “Bringing time and pleasure to the center of the parent-child relationship” reveals Malvina Girard, therapist, sophrologist and author of the book “Slow parenting”, at Hachette editions.

Respect the natural rhythm of the child

With the exception of some early children, a child, by nature, does not have a frantic pace. Now, today, “Many parents register their offspring to a multitude of extra-curricular activities” regrets the therapist believing that this slow parenting movement has notably been set up to counter the phenomenon of hyper parentsalso called “Parents helicopters”stretching that their toddlers reach a kind of ideal representation of the human being involving good academic results but also the learning of several languages, sports, artistic and musical activities. Result ? “The child runs mechanically without integrating what he is doing” she alerts. Another consequence is stress, manifesting itself earlier and earlier, sometimes from 6 years old, via anxiety, panic attacks, a ball in the belly, a stutter or an increase in heart rate.

The solution: slow By reducing its extra-curricular activities and prioritizing our imperatives to manage to emerge from time. Even if it means, making him dry his karate lesson to do something else together. “It is also very exciting to put a little unexpected and it will teach him to adapt later when everything will not necessarily go as planned” explains Malvina Girard.

Take advantage of the present moment

The other vocation of Slow Parenting is to allow the child and his parents to take advantage of the present moment. How ? By offering our cherub the most precious donations: timefrom thelistenfrom the availability In order to help him really discover who he is. Devoting quality time to the child involves giving him the time ofexplorewithout directing him, so that he can develop his creativity and draw resources himself to learn to trust himself.

Qualities that will later help him to better manage situations – unlike those called the “learned monkeys”these children to which we have constantly said what to do and who, in adulthood, totally lack autonomy – and to make choices that correspond to him and make him really happy. A happiness who does not necessarily go through the purchase of a large house and a boat because“Many of us still believe that happiness is linked to equipment and transmit this model to our children by giving them gifts rather than spending them time”regrets the specialist. The proof, when asking a child to remember one of the best memories, he rarely evokes the unpacking of his Christmas gifts. These are the Sharing moments who take precedence.

Establish “Slow Parenting” times

We adapt the Slow Parenting Depending on our tastes respective and our availability. For some, it will be at the time of dinner (we cut smartphones and TV, we exchange with the family), or by engaging in a board game. Role games also work well, everyone mimics a character or situations. Making a cake, gardening or folding the linen together can also turn parenting. For the linen for example, you can ask your child if he recognizes his belongings, then make them put them in his drawers. A fun way to involve it, especially since the little ones love imitating us. It’s up to us to value him by congratulating him. Another moment conducive to Slow Parenting: the story of the evening. What a pleasure to see us sitting next to them, be able to listen to us and ask us questions that we will take the time to answer something other than the endless “Wait” And “later”. What matters, according to the expert, is never doing things by constraint, it is a question of choosing what we like and indulging in it.

Favor quality to quantity

We are obviously all taken in the whirlwind of our rhythms, therefore difficult toEstablish Slow Parenting permanently. Good news, what makes you happy is not the quantity but the quality Sharing time. So we apply it when you can, on vacation, in the evening, on weekends. Everything is to try to organize to offer him Pause moments where he doesn’t have to run. Nevertheless, “If in the morning we are on the stuff, we have the right to tell your child ‘hurry” reassures the therapist. We then relegate Slow Parenting to a more conducive moment. If it is recurrent on the other hand, whether it drags on breakfast or to dress, perhaps that by waking up earlier, he will be ready on time without having to hurry.

Let it be bored

He comes to complain thathe is bored ? Let us invite him to find himself how to take care. We can, for example, draw up a list of activities that he liked and offer him to go draw into it, or to find a new one. If we constantly fill his boredom by listing things to do with him, he will get into the habit of resting on us without going to draw on his own resources and work his creativity. Obviously, at the beginning, he risks buckling, therefore to reassure him, explain to him that we trust him and that he will find. “A good parent is not the one who does everything, but the one who lets the child advance at his own pace according to his age and his abilities” Malvina Girard recalls. Especially since children are able to achieve great things if they are given the opportunity.

Weave

Other Slow parenting benefit, And not least, the pleasure it gives. To be together, to share moments, to know better each other makes it possible to establish an authentic, deep relationship, giving rise to a healthy and strong relationship, including in the future, because a real Parent-child link will be woven. A relational example that the child will subsequently reproduce with those around him by advocating the well-being together. As for us, this will have allowed us to fully savor every moment spent with our little blond heads that grow up so fast!