We like to imagine gifted people, children or adults, like sufficient beings, imbued with themselves since persuaded to have knowledge and reason for all things.
This caricatured image well suits those who find it difficult to conceive of the reality of the gift: by reducing those who have such a negative image, we justify the rejection they can cause. They are responsible for harassment, mockery and misunderstandings they cause. More “normal”, they would be accepted without difficulty within any group. It goes without saying that all these faults which they are charged with them do not correspond to them at all: Single people would be rather modest, discreet and above all, they tend to doubt very easily of them.
Those who conduct themselves in this outrageous way awkwardly seek to impose on others by facade insurance which has nothing to do with the certainties of the gifted person when he emits a duly supported opinion by a logical reasoning which does not allow any gap. It gives its opinion as information or to advance a discussion in the right direction, but, in no case, to mark a possible superiority. Besides, unless you know it well and know that you can trust your judgment, this opinion can be questioned, often by those that this rigor of mind and this accuracy accuracy of analysis, while the gifted person absolutely does not seek to triumph by the clarity of his analysis. She knows that she is right because her good spirit of logic confirms her in her conclusion.
Behind insurance, constant doubt
Experience has taught him that he was still preferable to temper the expression of his judgment by a few reservations intended to defuse criticism: appearing too sure of self is risky and attracting attacks … However, many conditions must be met for an opinion to be given with certainty: the slightest ambiguity, the smallest shadow in the presentation of a situation can distort his approach. Besides, the propensity of people to hear what they want to hear is surprising. They include something else according to their interests or their concerns of the moment and think, in good faith, that the speech of the speaker give them reason or, on the contrary, allow them to protest, sometimes with vehemence, against what they thought they heard. Such distorted situations can lead to Homeric quarrels when it was an opinion, nothing more.
When a gifted person is tormented by doubts, who are part of his nature, he is particularly weakened. Always, she has been used to taking solitary reasoning paths, even though she may not seem bold enough to risk it. The children already emit remarks that surprise their teachers and make their comrades laugh : Their reasoning trained them far while this sequence seems natural to them. This reasoning led them far beyond the limits of the subject treated, but they do not necessarily realize that not everyone does not easily access more complex concepts. (Process that has nothing to do with those who take refuge in a jargon inaccessible to non -specialists).
By following the thread of their reflection, sometimes enriched by their many readings, These children seem surprising maturity of mind, their liveliness allowed them to integrate a lot of data and use this knowledge wisely. It is a natural approach and not a desire to show any superiority.
The humility of gifted children
It would be much more humility that would characterize gifted peoplewhile we would be tempted, in theory, to think quite the opposite, since they are so often right. Just as they think they have no merit after a success, precisely because it has been reached too easily, they do not see this specificity as a rare and sometimes even remarkable feature, because unusual. No one would think of boasting of an intellectual approach that seems trivial. The solution appeared as obvious, with a clarity that imposed it, but it would be precisely this spontaneous approach which would ultimately have a flaw by its naturalness, everything was too easy, there was not even any hesitation in the way to follow. We are very far from the arrogance lent to gifted people, obviously happy with the result of their reasoning: it is the satisfaction of the student who succeeds in his demonstration of mathematics to solve a more difficult problem.
When humility is not understood as such, the feeling of imposture can interfere in this thought mechanism : It is a happy coincidence that dictated my thought of thought, he cannot reproduce. We like to imagine an assembly of gifted people, a class or a group constituted according to a given criterion, no one would be surprised by the original, innovative or particularly subtle ideas of the others and no one would be tempted to consider the author of these ideas as a separate being to consider with mistrust. He could even settle what we call a healthy emulation, without jealousy, without rivalry, without escalation.
The gaze of others
Self -confidence depends in part on the gaze of others : If the others see you as a poorly adjusted puzzle, where the pieces would not be placed in the right place, this confidence is disintegrated and gradually turns into self -depreciation, especially since many tend to forget who found the solution or who has had an original idea, thereafter so many people have adopted this point of view that we no longer know very well who found it first.
Advice : It is good to make a child abundantly for a particularly delicate and difficult success, without forgetting to mention the effort he still had to provide, even if he did not seem excessive to him. This is how he will be able to face increasingly complex difficulties by relying on his reasoning without ever underestimating attention that should not relax. His image will be more solid and he will advance with more boldness without being started by unjustified criticism.
The chronicles published on the website of the Journal des Femmes are to be found in the book by Arielle Adda entitled “from the child to the adults gifted, to build his personality” published by Odile Jacob.
