Contrary to what many parents think, evening agitation is not simply an excess of energy. According to pediatrician Vincent Joly, it often hides something deeper.
Every evening, it’s the same story: despite the rituals put in place, Marion faces an electrical battery between dinner and bedtime. Her son Léo starts jumping like a kangaroo on the sofa, singing at the top of his lungs, running around the house to escape him when it’s time to put on his pajamas…”Fortunately, the evening story allows us to come down a little, but I thought for a long time that he needed to do the “foufou” before going to bed“, the young mother tells us. Certainly, if we miss the right bedtime, children tend to be overexcited in the evening. But why exactly? According to Vincent Joly, children’s pediatrician, certain reasons are often ignored by parents and it has nothing to do with a simple overflow of energy…
Of course, there are those who simply find it difficult to find peace. “It’s as if they need to exhaust their body in a motor dump to regain their calm. Bedtime or naps are therefore particularly complicated for them to manage, because they cannot find the way to rest. They often don’t know very well how to slow down and tend to get agitated or throw tantrums only to eventually calm down after releasing all the tensions that are driving them, a bit like stressed adults who need to lose themselves in a myriad of activities before falling tired in the middle of the night.he explains to us.
Also, if your child mistakes your bed for a trampoline, starts fighting or throws the cushions in the air while bursting out laughing, know that many parents also find themselves in the same situation, which has the advantage of setting the mood at home. But it’s not always easy to make children understand that it’s now time to sleep in their own bed. And that’s where the real reason lies. Because when a child gets so agitated in the evening, it is precisely to repel certain fears. “Worries, fears or anxieties will first be expressed through motor instability and agitation. This is particularly true with regard to sadness or worries which can overtake the child in the evening when he has nothing left to do and can no longer think of anything else. The fear of being left alone in his room, which is a common worry among children, will often be expressed through anger which is a way of maintaining a bond with the parents. almost as if the child were saying to himself “I would rather be scolded or angry with me than be left alone with my fears“, reveals Vincent Joly.
To best support these sometimes hectic evenings, it is better to welcome this agitation with kindness, rather than to repress it head-on. The idea is not to prevent the child from moving, but to offer him a reassuring environment to unload what he is feeling. A stable ritual, a calm presence, and sometimes a simple moment of shared silence can be enough to help him settle down. Giving him time to come down without immediate pressure can also make all the difference. It is not so much a question of method as of listening: the main thing is that the child feels understood, even in his storm.
