Every parent has once explained to their children that “it’s not okay to lie.” However, scientific studies qualify this belief a little: among the youngest, lying is in reality proof of a remarkable ability.
It’s a behavior that all parents fear, and even reprimand: from a very young age, children are taught not to lie. Hiding the truth from parents, teachers, or even friends is universally considered a bad thing. However, if all toddlers do not do it at the same frequency, it is almost inevitable. Many try it around the age of 2, with often mixed success, but 8 out of 10 children lie at least occasionally at the age of 4. This is what the work of American researcher Kang Lee, a specialist in developmental psychology, who has studied lying in children for more than two decades, reveals.
“As parents, teachers and society as a whole, we always fear that a child’s lies will have terrible consequences”explains this professor from the University of Toronto. But as is often the case in a child’s education, nothing is black or white. And lying in toddlers may well be a sign of a fundamental quality.
“It turns out that there is a big difference between children who lie early and those who lie late. The former generally have much better cognitive abilities”explains Dr. Kang Lee. Indeed, children capable of lying from a very young age are actually more intelligent than others. The researcher thus mentions “two essential skills for lying”namely self-control and “theory of mind”. Lying, and especially effective lying, requires distinguishing between one’s own mental state and that of the interlocutor, understanding the intentions and beliefs of another person, but also ensuring consistency between the lie and future statements.
Children who are able to grasp these concepts very early demonstrate a great capacity for reasoning, and would therefore be particularly intelligent. In reality, it’s a logical circle. Children who are more cognitively advanced tend to lie more. And the opposite is also true: lying is precisely proof of advanced development. In short, the more intelligent a child is, the greater his propensity to lie. And the more he lies, the smarter he is.
Of course, Kang Lee does not recommend that parents teach their children to lie, but believes that “It’s not a bad idea.” to let them experience some “deceptive games” or other little lies. Moreover, among the skills necessary for lying, he also notes the fact of understanding whether the sociocultural context lends itself to it or not. “Most societies prohibit lying to cover up transgressions for personal gain. However, some societies encourage small lies that spare the feelings of the person being deceived. To decide wisely whether or not to lie, one must determine the social context that demands the truth or lie.”specifies the professor of psychology in his work. Ultimately, lying becomes a tool for surviving in society, one that the brightest among us developed before we even knew how to tie our shoes. The fact remains that lying should not erase the trust between the child and his parent, which remains essential.
