After the success of gentle education in recent years, a new parental trend is emerging on social networks. And this goes against the “positive” methods advocated so far.
Some parents can’t stand hearing about positive parenting anymore. Over the past ten years, this style of parenting based on kindness, emotional support and respect for children has become a mass phenomenon on social networks. And like all trends of the genre, it eventually ran out of steam: today, many people criticize this “gentle parenting”, sometimes judged as too lax, too protective or simply too exhausting. Because caring education aims in particular to explain and detail each of the parental decisions to the child, to name and allow each of his emotions to be expressed, but also to remain calm in all circumstances. A vision that many parents consider idealistic, far from daily reality.
This is why a new parental trend is emerging: as opposed to the doctrine of positive education, this method advocates a real letting go and finds more and more followers on social networks. Forget long sermons and other moral lessons, now the fashionable parental philosophy is to let it go… or almost. This method is called FAFO, an acronym for “Fuck Around and Find Out”, which could be translated (politely) as “Be a fool and you’ll see”. The term has actually existed for years, but it has taken off among American and British parents during the year 2025, and is starting to spread little by little in France. Some videos and testimonials on this subject now have millions of views.
Obviously, the concept is not to let the children fend for themselves and completely neglect one’s parental obligations. Above all, it is about allowing children to understand and assume the natural consequences of their actions, without excessive intervention. So, instead of arguing with a child who has forgotten his umbrella or going to get him another one, the idea is to tell him “Too bad for you, you will walk in the rain”. And this can apply in many situations, like a child who refuses to put away his toys for example. If someone steps on it and it breaks, the lesson will quickly be learned. But of course, as with positive parenting, the key is above all not to push the principle to the extreme: gentle education must also impose limits and consequences, while the FAFO method must not necessarily be punitive and humiliating.
And naturally, there is no question of applying it in a risky situation or falling into total indifference. “If a child doesn’t eat, he or she will be hungry. It may be unpleasant, but for a meal or snack, it’s certainly not dangerous. Being rude to a friend may mean that the friend won’t want to play with them again, but pushing or hurting a friend is dangerous behavior for which (the FAFO method) does not apply.”summarizes psychologist and coach Tamara Glen Soles, to the American magazine Parents.
As with everything when it comes to educating a child, nothing is black and white: the goal is to find the right balance. Moreover, in 2022, researchers from the University of Marburg (Germany) proved that adolescents raised in an “authoritarian” parental environment, that is to say both firm and warm, displayed better emotional regulation than those raised in a punitive or, conversely, permissive framework.
