Lack of customers, loss of turnover, bad pitch in front of a jury, call for tender not won, job interview that ends with a negative response… During the course of professional life, disappointments and failures are not lacking. In France, they are often perceived as a dishonor, while in other countries like the United States, they are valued, because they are synonymous with audacity and progress. Here are some keys to change your mindset and emerge stronger from these challenges.
Overcoming Denial
Accepting this painful period
The second stage after a failure involves emotional difficulties to experience such as stress, anxiety, disappointment, sadness… It is about accepting to experience these negative emotions and not trying to escape them by being in denial or by wanting to feel good straight away. If we do not live through this difficult period, the denial continues and it is then harder to get out of it. “, underlines Loane Chavane. Ultimately, it comes down to accepting hitting rock bottom in order to bounce back better. ” It happens to everyone at some point, it’s the only way to be reborn. It’s normal to go through periods where things aren’t going well, we can’t always be positive. “, adds the psychologist.
Do introspective work
Introspective work is necessary to understand the reasons for this failure. It is often easier to blame an external cause (a third party, society, a particular context, etc.) and to be satisfied with this reason to justify the failure. Sometimes, indeed, it is the only cause.
But very often, everyone has their share of responsibilities and may have made a bad choice, rushed into something, not studied the subject enough, etc. We can ask ourselves what role we played in this failure, without feeling guilty either. We all have the right to make mistakes. It is part of the learning process. Using our past experiences to learn from them helps us not to make the same mistakes again if we are faced with a similar situation. “, specifies Loane Chavane. It is therefore a question of recognizing one’s wrongs and showing flexibility and adaptation afterwards.
Being well surrounded
Being surrounded by family, friends, colleagues or others allows you to have support during this difficult time. They are an emotional presence that prevents you from feeling alone. They can also be a listening ear, bring a new perspective on things, share their own experience if they have experienced a similar situation. These exchanges allow you to see things from a new angle. They allow you to see through the stories of others that failure is sometimes an opportunity to bounce back, an opportunity to reinvent yourself.
Act without fear of the gaze of others
Loane Chavane notes that failure often comes from the way others see it. Some people went into a career to please their parents, because it was well-received… You have to get rid of social norms as much as possible, of this view to find what you really want. The idea is to finally worry about what you think is good for you “, she emphasizes. So, no matter the age at which each person faces failure or the nature of it, everyone goes through complicated phases. ” What matters is to use these experiences to activate the keys to resilience. ” concludes the psychologist.
Dorothée Blancheton
