To succeed is not to check all the boxes is to learn to last without getting lost. This is one of the strong messages that Delphine Tordjman shares in her book Successful career without missing your life (Ed. Gereso). Coach, trainer and yoga teacher, she accompanies those who want to combine ambition and well-being. Through this interview, she gives us essential avenues to build a success that is not done at the detriment of oneself.
You are a journalist, certified coach, trainer and yoga teacher. What led you to write Successful career without missing your life ?
Delphine Tordjman: I wrote this book because I have seen too many lives unbalance themselves under the weight of responsibilities, too many talents run out by dint of giving too much, too many human beings forget that they exist outside their job. In my job, I accompany brilliant, committed leaders, but often in tension. They advance quickly, tick all the boxes of the Success … But at what price?
To succeed is not just to accumulate successes is to learn to last without getting lost. My book is my answer to that: it is a question of reconciling with its ambitions and its happiness.
You say that “ To succeed in his career is above all to find his reason for being ». How to help women identify their own definition of success?
Delphine Tordjman: I have always found that real successes are not measured through the eyes of others. You cannot fill your heart with objectives borrowed from the company. The real question is: what makes your heart beat? Coaching is like a mirror: it allows you to see yourself from another angle, to free yourself from external expectations and to identify what really nourishes us. To each woman, I try to recall that their raison d’être is not that which is imposed on them, but that which they choose. And that is a huge power.
In your book, you explain that balance is not based on better time management, but on better management of its limits. Can you tell us more?
Delphine Tordjman: It is often believed that balance is a question of organization. But it is not by adding colors to his agenda that we find breath. Balance is knowing where to put your energy and to preserve it.
It is learning to say no without feeling guilty, understanding that a well -filled timetable does not mean a busy life and not to confuse movement and progression. As long as we do not pose its own limits, it is the others that dictate them. To do this, you have to learn to listen to the body. It is our best ally. He is constantly speaking to us. Fatigue, irritability, so -called emotional hunger, are symptoms of a lack of time to recharge your batteries.
Almost one in two employees is in psychological distress. What alert signals must challenge us? And how to differentiate a healthy professional commitment from an addiction to work?
Delphine Tordjman: Addiction to work is one of the few socially valued addictions. We applaud those who always make it more, those who sacrifice everything for their box. But when is it becoming a prisoner of his own success?
Alert signals:
- Emptiness Feel as soon as you stop working.
- The inability to drop outeven on weekends or on vacation.
- The cowardly body : insomnia, chronic fatigue, unexplained pain.
The question to ask is simple: “Does my work feed me or does he exhaust me?“.
In my conferences and seminars, I accompany the teams to rethink their commitment and regain lasting energy.
You talk about the “four wheels of life” (work, relationships, health, spirituality). How to do a self-diagnosis to rebalance these spheres?
Delphine Tordjman: I often see people arriving in coaching with a single wheel that runs at full speed: work. It’s a bit like driving a car with a completely deflated tire, it will eventually break. If one of the four wheels of life is neglected, it ends up seeing itself.
So, I ask them: are you running after dreams that are not even yours? Because if you haven’t taken the time to stop and look, how do you know if you are really on the right path? There is no miracle recipe, but a small self-diagnosis every six months can make miracles. And above all, be honest with yourself.
For a very invested entrepreneur or frame, how to learn to let go without having the feeling of losing performance?
Delphine Tordjman: Letting go is not giving up is change in interior posture. It is understanding that Leadership is not measured in exhaustion, Learn to alternate intensity and recovery; And dare to slow down to better last.
A good leader does not shoot the rope until it breaks. He knows when to accelerate and when recharging his batteries.
Letting go is to know when to say no to an opportunity not to say yes to exhaustion. It’s an art, really. It is by taking care of yourself that you become a better leader, not by sacrificing yourself. At one point, you have to say: Am I in train to live or simply to survive?
What is an ideal day like you today, between work and well-being?
Delphine Tordjman: A day when I can transmit, inspire, move, breathe. Where I am not running after something that no longer feeds me. The main thing is not perfection, it is the consciousness that we put in every moment. Because if you lose the meaning of the present moment, you lose everything.
If you were to give a single advice to those who run after professional success, what would it be?
Delphine Tordjman: Do not confuse urgency and importance. True luxury is to choose what really deserves our energy. Don’t get lost in the race. Because when you look back, you will not regret not having had a big salary or a title. You will regret not having taken the time to listen to your loved ones, not having breathed, not having taken care of yourself. To succeed is to know when to move forward and to stop. Success is not a sprint, it’s a dance.
