Children and adolescents are often stressed by their academic results, their future, and undergo social pressure. A British therapist delivers his advice to parents to help them overcome this permanent anxiety.
When a child is stressed or even anxious because of his social environment, school pressure or his future, parents do not always know how to find the right words to reassure him. If you tend to put into perspective by saying “calm down, there is no reason to worry”, it is not necessarily the best way to react, according to Saskia Joss, children’s therapist and anxiety specialist in London. “”If we do not recognize his fear, he may feel ignored and even more in danger. The solution is not to erase their concerns, but to validate them and put them into perspective “she explains.
When a child refuses to do something because he is afraid of it (like going to school for example), there is also no need to punish or rage. On the contrary, listen to better understand his fears and thus resolve them, together. The specialist also recalls that our emotional states are often absorbed by children. “” If we remain calm and reassuring, they learn that anxiety does not have to control them “she adds.
For this, she advises a soothing climate, with routines, music, family meals, but also a good sommel, good hydration and good diet, which will help reduce cortisol, which tends to promote anxiety. But above all, the best of parents to do to reassure their anxious child is to be present for him. “You are the fortress that stands between him and what he fears. Thanks to your advice, he can relearn how to feel safe,” said Saskia Joss.
The therapist finally recommends teaching children not to see their mistakes as a failure, but as a learning of life. “”Two effective ways to mitigate this anxiety are the practice of a state of growth, which implies understanding that skills develop through effort, and errors, and which help children to consider failures as learning, and not as a failure. Show them that everyone is making mistakes and share how you have overcome yours to show safety in imperfection “.
