Some characters have a lot of trouble accepting criticism …
We all know a person who breaks at the slightest remark or who takes everything badly, even when it is constructive. The most revealing sign of an inability to accept criticism is a systematically defensive, even aggressive attitude, faced with the slightest remark. The person occurs as soon as he is reproached or a suggestion of improvement: instead of listening, he is immediately justified, minimizes his wrongs or rejects the fault on others. This instinctive defense posture can even turn to personal counterattack – for example a colleague who, feeling criticized on his work, retaliated by hard words or insults towards the messenger rather than considering the substance of the problem.
According to Dr. Emile Guibert, doctor of psychology, several reasons, often linked to a fragility of self -esteem, explain these excessive reactions. “”In some people, with a hypersensitive temperament and with little esteem of themselves, the slightest remark is perceived as a severe judgment on their value and revives their deep insecurity, hence an apparently disproportionate but coherent response to what they feel internally“, explains the author of the book” Everything is a question of character “(ed. Favre).
These characters often seek external validation: their ego depends on the gaze of others. For them, a criticism (even benign) is equivalent to a withdrawal of approval, therefore to a narcissistic threat. Finally, in a passionate person who is strongly identified with his projects, any opposition is experienced as personal hostility. “”She will confuse the criticism of one of her ideas with an attack on her person; It is not uncommon that she then considers the critic as an “enemy” to neutralize and reacts accordingly, by total rejection or unexpected aggressiveness. This reveals in the first case a fragile ego, which feels threatened at the slightest disagreement, and in the second, an excessive ego“.
To better accept criticism and strengthen your inner balance, it is essential to cultivate self-esteem by validating yourself, rather than looking for the approval of others. Taking a step back in the face of a criticism, expanding your perspective and considering remarks as information to progress makes it possible to avoid an excessive emotional reaction. It is also useful to manage your impulsivities by adopting self -control strategies, such as breathing or breaking. Finally, putting the scope of criticism into perspective and avoiding personalizing them promotes a more serene and constructive approach to external remarks.
