30 days before passing away, a surprising phenomenon occurs, explains Julie McFadden, palliative care nurse.
Accompanying a loved one in their final moments is a particularly feared ordeal of life. Faced with old age or illness, the feeling of helplessness often dominates, fueled by a fear of the unknown. However, palliative care professionals have a completely different perception of death. For them, it is a predictable biological process: the body shows “signs of decline through certain symptoms”explains Julie McFadden, palliative care nurse in Los Angeles (United States). By understanding these steps, it is possible to best support those we love, without fear parasitizing our last moments with them.
The decline begins long before the final days, often so subtly that it goes unnoticed. About six months before death, the body begins a withdrawal phase. At this stage, the symptoms are “very general”specifies the nurse in a video. We observe an inversion of the social personality where the individual becomes “more introverted than extroverted”. Energy visibly declines: these stages, already well known, are manifested by a patient who sleeps “much more”eat and drink “much less”. This lack of interest in food is a sign that the metabolism is slowing down and no longer needs fuel to function.
As we approach the one month threshold before departure, a surprising phenomenon occurs: the “viewing”. This is the moment when “people will begin to see the invisible”explains Julie McFadden. According to what she has observed with many of her patients, some often report seeing deceased loved ones, or even pets that they may have had during their life. Medically, this indicates a change in the state of consciousness, and for the nurse, it is a temporal indicator of the patient’s condition in palliative care.
Later, just before death, the body enters a phase of total muscular relaxation. The patient will spend most of his time asleep, the body letting itself be guided by its own rhythm. “So imagine that your loved one is just completely relaxed, and that’s why their eyes are open and their mouth is half open.”reassures the expert in a second video. The nurse emphasizes that the person is experiencing “total loss of consciousness” : his body naturally disconnects the perception of pain for a peaceful departure.
To best experience these painful moments, it is essential to understand that the body is biologically made to shut down. Spending quality time with your loved one and expressing your love strengthens family ties and promotes a harmonious climate for the patient and those around them. Accepting this natural phenomenon is a key step, but if these moments are too difficult, you should not hesitate to seek support from a mental health professional.
