Raising children who are not his own is not given to all fathers. After being involved for 7 years as a father-in-law, Francis tells us why he was unable to get more involved.
According to the latest figures from INSEE, blended families represent 10% of households with children in 2025. Many couples therefore separate, divorce, share custody of the children, then get back together, with a new partner who, very often, also has other children. Most of the time, children become friends, but some families may have difficulty finding their balance. And then, it is also difficult for parents to take on the new role: that of mother-in-law or father-in-law. Everyone must succeed in finding their place, and good understanding is not always there.
This is the case of Francis, aged 38, already the father of two little girls aged 8 and 10, whom he sees every other weekend. After his divorce, he ended up finding love again with Sylvie, 39, also a mother of three children. Initially, everything goes well, the children get along well and play together, enjoy getting together on weekends when Francis has custody of his daughters. The rest of the time, this dad mainly tries to find his place within this new family, in vain.
“My authority was always questioned, I did not have the “right” to intervene or raise my voice when his children behaved badly or did not listen. Of course, I am not their father, but we lived under the same roof, and education is an essential thing for me“, Francis tells us. Over time, this father let the mother do her thing, gradually fading away. “I ended up not saying anything anymore, it was sometimes chaos, and I faded away, almost feeling like a stranger in my own house“, he told us. After 7 years of raising children who are not his, this father realized something difficult to admit: “I never managed to love them as much as my own children, even if I became attached to them”he admits. Of course, arguments within the couple motivated his departure. “Investing yourself as a stepfather in a blended family only works if you fully leave your place to the other“, he believes.
This is precisely the case of Stéphane, who married his wife Jenifer, already the mother of three boys. The latter immediately involved him in his relationship with his children, giving him as much importance as their biological father. “From the start, he was involved in their daily lives, helping them with homework, taking them to school, teaching them to ride a bike or swim…” Stéphane immediately considered Jenifer’s children as his own children and even decided to adopt them officially, to protect them in the future. Thus, when the alchemy operates, the role of stepfather can be transformed into a deep and lasting bond, woven with respect and trust. Some men naturally find their place, become solid benchmarks for the children, and build with them a story in its own right, made of complicity, everyday gestures and sincere presence.
