Validated by psychologists and applicable to any daily interaction.
For some, discuss everything and nothing is innate. For the most shy, it is a force of strength comparable to a “surprise” presentation in front of a crowded room. And yet, whether at the office, the coffee machine, an evening or the neighboring party, the “Small Talk” – these famous informal conversations – are legion. To avoid discomfort and annoying silences, there is a very simple method, validated by psychologists, which applies to any daily social interaction.
All you need to remember is the acronym “flat”. These 4 letters represent 4 universal subjects to be tackled without taking the lead: family, leisure, aspirations, work. “”Funniestslides the therapist Nicole Arzt on the Upworthy media, It is that “flat” means “flat” in English … while thanks to him, your conversations will be anything but flat!“Classic but effective: the family. It is a natural gateway to initiate a personal discussion without being intrusive. It is an opportunity to question the person about her brothers and sisters, on the way in which she met her husband or even on the age of her children. Another possible subject: leisure. Talking about what we like to do during her free time is the assurance of a more relaxed and authentic discussion. Talking about the last book or the next book.
Work is another universal field. Even those who don’t have them often have a lot to say about it. You can for example ask what the person prefers in his job or what made him want to do this job. You will see, it naturally launches the conversation. Finally, a little more intimate and personal, the subject of dreams and aspirations reveals many things about your interlocutor. According to the therapist, the best sentence to say is: “What would you do if you could do anything in life?“
But the real “super-power” of a sociable and pleasant person, it is not to speak, is to listen, to show a real interest, to ask open questions, to bounce on what the other shares … “That’s the heart of a real exchange“, insists the expert.
