or a 9 year old child who seems to us to be too sensitive and unstructured to face the harshness of the world. We were thinking of relying on a professional who can help him build the tools with which to face the next delicate years. I wonder if this sort of preventive psychotherapy and life support could be useful for a child who has to prepare for pre-adolescence and a world that is not respectful of sensitive people.
GIGLIOLA
– Dear Gigliola, your request made me smile. What would we parents of the third millennium not do to make sure that our child grows up protected and never has to suffer the hardships of a world that is not always respectful of the individuality of each of us.
Certainly we all have the right to live in contexts that respect us and that do not challenge us with provocations and violence.
At the same time, however, it is important that our children learn good “know how to be” not in the psychotherapist’s office but in the frequency of normal living environments.
We mental specialists do a lot of prevention work, working with classes and schools, but we cannot replace the educational relationship that every boy and girl must experience first of all in the family and then at school. You fear that your child’s excessive sensitivity exposes him to risks and dangers and therefore you would like to see him “strengthened” thanks to the help of a specialist who provides him with the ability not to be scratched. But if you think about it, you are treating a distinctive aspect of your child, which has great value, like a risk factor, a sort of boomerang that could turn against him.
Instead, perhaps the approach to use is the exact opposite. We need to help him understand that this quality of his can help him find his place in the world. In short, as you will have understood, dear Gigliola, I do not advise you to undertake psychotherapy for a 9 year old child based on the reasons you indicate in your email. I think it would instead be more advantageous to have him participate in group educational and sporting activities with the supervision of educators capable of welcoming and supporting the growth of children of your son’s age.
If you really want him to strengthen his skills for life, offer him the experience of scouting where boys and girls live together for experiences that allow them to do everything in collaboration with others in a highly supportive climate capable of providing those emotional and socio-relational skills that help to face the challenges of everyday life.
