Communication and listening are very important in supporting the patient.
The subject of end of life is often difficult to discuss, both for patients and their loved ones. “We are so silent about it”deplores Dr. Kathryn Mannix, expert in palliative care. However, people at the end of their lives have a lot to share. They often look for an attentive ear to express what they feel, to be supported and reassured. According to the French recommendations of the High Authority of Health (HAS), attentive listening, sincere communication and the creation of a climate of transparency between the patient, their loved ones and the healthcare team are pillars of palliative care, because they offer a secure environment to the patient.
For most patients, the first need is to tell their loved ones how much love they feel for them. “(Patients) want to be grateful for what others have meant to them throughout their lives. They want to tell people they love them.”explains Dr. Mannix, interviewed by Dr. Alex George in a TikTok video. I think the phone calls from the Twin Towers, left on answering machines, are a perfect illustration of this. All these messages were about love: “I love you. Don’t forget it.” And we constantly hear these 3 words in palliative care: “I’m sorry / I forgive you / I love you.” These simple words, but sometimes difficult to pronounce, are at the heart of the support relationship: they strengthen family ties and promote a harmonious climate for the patient and those around them.
Also, “they want to repair broken relationships”. Regaining dialogue, resolving a misunderstanding or expressing forgiveness helps relieve tensions and improve the quality of relationships. This approach, consistent with the principles of HAS, is based on listening, recognition and mutual goodwill, and contributes to maintaining a peaceful family climate for the patient’s last moments.
Dr. Alex George reminds us that you don’t have to wait until the end of life to express your feelings. He invites everyone to take the initiative today: “Call people and tell them you love them.” Even small gestures, like a call, a message or a simple word, can strengthen bonds and clarify relationships. Expressing gratitude and staying in touch helps maintain good communication and promotes stronger, more serene relationships, long before illness or old age.
