An easy-to-remember method, initiated by a parenting coach: three letters capable of shedding light on what builds a solid relationship.
Questions related to children’s surroundings often come up in family discussions. Friendships that become strained, unequal loyalties, unforeseen disappointments: all of this shapes part of the academic and social experience. The Instagram account @_petit_devenir_grand_ summed up this reality: “Your child will go through many storms, and you will not be able to stop him. But, if he finds ONE friend who believes in him, who reaches out to him at the right time, then he will always be able to rebuild.” The idea is not to rule out difficulties, but to give the child the ability to identify what makes them feel good and avoid falling into injury or isolation.
The publication also highlights the importance of teaching the notion of mutual respect very early on. Parenting coach Laurie Gozlan, creator of the Instagram account, insists: “If you want to help your child, show him that he deserves to be respected. And teach him to keep only the relationships that push him up, and to reject those that pull him down.” This advice echoes the testimonies of parents who are looking for a clear way to address the issue of the behavior of others without demonizing certain classmates or imposing definitive judgments.
To illustrate this observational work, she then offers a little game around behaviors described as “non-constant”: those that the child sometimes encounters without knowing how to name them. Changing attitudes, opportunistic, nervous, severe, sometimes misleading or absent, often negative, or those moments when someone turns their back as soon as an error occurs. Simply identifying them helps the child understand what he or she is feeling. To do this, here is the mnemonic she recommends: C for Changing, O for Opportunistic, N for Nervous, S for Severe, T for Cheaters, A for Absent, N for Negative and T for Turning your back. Furthermore, his advice does not stop at identifying what is disturbing. It also offers a positive, short, readable benchmark, intended to show what a successful relationship is.
This involves identifying the three letters of the word AMI. A for Attentive, because a true friend listens without judging or mocking. M for Funny, because shared lightness and the pleasure of being together are unmistakable indicators. I for Important, because a friend shows the other that they are valuable and that they really matter.
In short, a clear way for children to recognize good people. This approach allows us to approach friendship from the angle of what nourishes trust rather than that of distrust. Children remember better what helps them feel good than what should scare them, and parents can rely on this logic to create a more egalitarian dialogue around relationships. To remember.
