Carification and self-mutilation can affect some badly in their skin. These non -severity gestures are generally calls for help. How to explain them? What to do to help your child? Analysis and advice from Anaïs Barrattini, psychologist.
During adolescence, which is a period of transition dotted with ups and downs, a teenager who feels bad in his head may be tempted to scar or mutilate the body. These gestures and marks that remain on the skin are not harmless acts, and can be the Sign of several suffering in adolescents. Opposite, parents do not always know how to react. Why does my child sacrifice himself? What to do to help him and what is the management in this type of situation? Clinical psychologist Anaïs Barrattini enlightens us.
What are the types of scarifications in adolescents?
A adolescent who can be scarified be tempted to express your discomfort by bodily ailments such as cuts in the skin,, Laccerations or even cigarette burns. Stuck the skin and intentionally get cut – more or less long and more or less deep – is not a trivial act.
Why does my teenager sacrifice himself?
Why does my teenager voluntarily damage the body by mutilating? According to psychologist Anaïs Barrattini, “Scarling or mutilating is not only temporary relief, but this allowsexteriorize interior suffering, psychic conflicts or identity discomfort“The teenager, who does not manage to verbalize his discomfort, uses his skin as an” territory of affirmation “.
Scarification also allows him to search for its bodily limitsit’s also a way of wanting regain control of your bodyat a period when the latter is in perpetual change and is sometimes difficult to accept.
“Sacrifier allows the teenager to exteriorize interior suffering, psychic conflicts or an identity discomfort.”
Seeing her teenager mutilating himself or seeing scars on his body, parents generally do not know how to react, or how to help their child. The psychologist delivers them several advice:
Do not give in to panic and avoid judging
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Ideally, parents should not give in panic and above all should avoid judging their teenager. The most important is “d ‘try to understand why he mutilates himself, what it hideswhat it gives him, if it relieves it and in which framework it is scarce, in particular in order to see if it is not associated with more severe disorders (eating disorders, suicide attempts, depression, etc.)“, advises the expert.
Receive the call for help
Consider his gesture as a call for help and as a desire to be listened to and understood. If you are not a support for him, even that you have an accusing attitude, the young man may turn and fall back more. However, Needless to want to see your scars at all costs : It will probably be ashamed of it and it could embarrass it.
Dialogue with your teenager
Try to establish a dialogue with your teenager, and dare to ask him the right questions: Is he harassed at school? Did he have a sorrow? Does he feel lost and alone in his life? If in the best of cases, your teenager confides, he may also refuse to tell you about it, for fear of your reaction.
If he refuses, offer him to discuss it to a neutral interlocutor – preferably a listening professional like a psychologist or a child psychiatrist depending on the seriousness of the situation – or an adult of the family (a aunt, a grandparent …) in whom he has fully confidence.
Find him supports to express himself
If your child categorically refuses to get help, Invite him to express his sufferings by writing : a blog, an intimate notebook, a forum where he can chat with Internet users who are, or who have been in the same situation as him.
Be patient and confident
In this type of situation, Being patience and trusting your child is important. Even if being worried, feeling guilty and being afraid are completely normal attitudes, Avoid entering a paranoia and deleting all the razors and sharp objects from the house. Show him rather than trust him and be patient: “autumutilation is, in many cases, A fleeting practice that disappears with dialogue, listening and often, with external help“reassures the psychologist.
When to worry in the event of scarification in the adolescent?
Practicing autumutilation does not necessarily mean that the teenager wants to end his life. In most cases, he just wants transform internal and psychic pain into real, visible and concrete painwhich, paradoxically, “gives more sense to his suffering and temporarily erases his interior injuries“, Specifies the expert. “”Ce who worries is the compulsive and repetitive side of the gesture“, she adds. Indeed, the appeasement and the relief that mutilations provide him remain temporary and push him to start again. In short, It is “A vicious circle in which the teen has no choice but to make this gesture to find it to appease it, to calm down and to exteriorize its sufferings“, She deciphers.
What to do if my teenager mutilates?
Who to ask for help? Parents whose teenagers are mutilated can solicit the help of a psychologist Or go to the family attending the family who will be able to orient them towards a healthcare professional specializing in these issues. There is also Associations and listening lines Intended for parents and adolescents who provide help, but also advice. We find in particular:
- Young health wirefor 12-25 year olds, By phone on 0800 235 236 and by cat online on Sonantejeunes.com provided by psychologists and doctors. Free and anonymous call, every day from 9 a.m. to 11 p.m. (and until 10 p.m. for the cat).
- Listen to family unafamfor parents or relatives of sick people, By phone on 01 42 63 03 03. Free and anonymous call, Monday to Friday, from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. and from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m. (5 p.m. Friday). No more detial
- Parent children headlightby phone on 01 43 46 00 62 (Monday to Friday from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., price of a non -surcharged call) or by email [email protected] or [email protected].
What management in the event of scarification in the teenager?
In the event of scarifications, your adolescent can benefit from a Medical and psychological management. If your child agrees to see a shrink, the sessions will be able to run in head with the teenager or in the presence of parents (but always with the agreement of the adolescent). Thus, the psychologist or the psychiatrist will help him to express or understand the origin of his suffering and will restore a link and a communication with his parents. Note that wanting to talk about it is already a first sign of healing.
