Our way of being is never trivial according to our doctor in psychology.
We all have at least one around us. When a person experiences a constant need for attention, it is reflected in their behavior. The most typical behavior is that it seeks to monopolize attention in all situations. In the professional sphere, she will claim positive feedback on her work and can be easily demotivated if her efforts go unnoticed or not recognized. In the private sphere, she can relentlessly request evidence of affection on the part of her partner – even if it means provoking small scenes of jealousy to test the attachment of the other.
“Such a person will often dominate the conversation and amplify reality: they grow their successes or dramatizes their problems in order to stand out and appear more impressive in the eyes of others”explains Dr. Emile Guibert, doctor of psychology and author of the book “Everything is a question of character” (ed. Favre). This quest for attention is also unable to remain alone. Staying isolated is almost inconceivable for her, because she saw the absence of a company as a real social and personal failure. It is therefore not uncommon for this type of person to chain romantic relationships to avoid loneliness.
This constant need for attention actually betrays a quest for validation and deep insecurity. This can come from emotional injuries from childhood, but not only. “”Another explanatory key lies in the character of the person. For example, an individual with a nervous character is marked by an intense emotivity that can make him particularly sensitive to the eyes of others and inclined to quickly devalue himselfexplains our expert. His emotional instability and his difficulty in anchoring himself in a stable image of himself create a favorable terrain for the inferiority complex. It is therefore not only a past injury which generates this quest for validation, but also a fragile and dependent character structure on the outside to feel existedr. ”
Fortunately, there are solutions to change. “”This implies considering the opinion of others as secondary, in order to avoid an exhausting quest for approval and find a better emotional balance“, Explains our expert. Learning loneliness and seeing the leading moments with yourself no longer as an emptiness, but as an opportunity to find yourself and grow is also necessary. Third, channeling your emotivity in a constructive way: instead of looking for attention to fill a discomfort, it is better to find healthy outskirts to its emotions (artistic expression, sport, writing …). A lot.This work is done in two stages: accepting its functioning without trying to become another, then actively cultivate the forces already present in itself. We become more solid internally, less dependent on the gaze of others, and capable of getting out of the repetitive patterns that maintain the constant need for attention“.
