Beyond the “hormones” which predispose to more sensitivity, future mothers never cry for nothing, assures Nathalie Lancelin-Huin, psychologist and author of the book “Pregnant, journey to the heart of emotions”.
“She’s crying for nothing, it’s because of the hormones!“, “She should be happy, she’s pregnant!“Pregnant women hear these phrases throughout their pregnancy, every time they express their emotions. However, “Women don’t cry for nothing because they are pregnant. No more than they are painful or want strawberries with whipped cream at midnight”explains psychologist Nathalie Lancelin-Huin in her book “Pregnant, journey to the heart of emotions“, published by horay. Enough to relieve and reassure future mothers. But where does this hypersensitivity come from and what does it reveal?
Why do we cry when we are pregnant?
The principle of pregnancy is to bring things back upso that when the baby is born, the mother is sufficiently available for her child. “It is as if it allows, via the hormonal veil, to bring up old files, generally imbued with sadness (childhood memories, past events or painful present contexts)“, specifies Nathalie Lancelin-Huin. It is therefore a natural psychology proposed by biology in the interest of the baby. So, if we listen to it and the mother-to-be tries to understand why she is crying, there is always a reason. “Even if she cries in front of a film or a song, or following a remark from those around her, it will never be anecdotal“To be able to recognize their emotions, pregnant women can keep a log of each time they cry.”What happened just before they cried and what might have caused their sadness?” Because there is always a reason, explains the author. Example: “a colleague told me that I had a pretty haircut, but that she preferred the previous color”… In fact, this may seem anecdotal, but it can remind her that the choices she makes are never the right ones, that her father devalued her, etc. Furthermore, some pregnant women have a particular hypersensitivity to the world around them, to injustices, or even to problems. ecological.
Is crying during pregnancy linked to loneliness?
Experiencing a pregnancy away from family or abroad is common among pregnant women. But missing their mother during this period is often difficult. In addition, the relationship with one’s own parents comes to the surface since “the pregnant woman goes from the status of daughter of her mother and father, of sister… To mother of their own child“, adds the psychologist. Moreover, we often see pregnant women, who were not very close to their mother, questioning this bond, and trying to get closer. Furthermore, today’s society lacks examples around us, believes the author. “In the past, in the countryside or in the city, we saw other women doing things, we found the gestures more natural when becoming a mother, and this example is much less present today“. So there is both the lack of one’s own mother and the lack of a mother, who helps us find the gestures.
In which months of pregnancy are pregnant women more sensitive?
Over nine months, hypersensitivity increases tenfold. The first trimester of pregnancy is special, particularly because fatigue makes pregnant women more vulnerable. “Indeed, there is something very strong at the start of pregnancy, but this sensitivity continues throughout the pregnancy. It will nevertheless be more channeled and oriented as it progresses”, specifies Nathalie Lancelin-Huin.
– Thus, the first trimester is devoted to memories of the past (old files go back).
– In the second trimester, “there is a sensitivity focused on the needs of the body. This is what will then help the mother to decode the baby’s cries.“, explains the specialist. Moreover, this hypersensitivity to the world around it continues almost a year after childbirth, to help mothers better understand their child. “In my opinion, this is the reason why there are so many women nostalgic for the time of their pregnancy“, she adds.
– Finally, in the third trimester, the sensitivity of pregnant women is more focused on the future. “We are going to give birth to this baby and we wonder what is the state of the outside world in which this newborn will be born. In summary, pregnant women look to the past, then their needs in the present and then to the future“.
| This hormonal hypersensitivity is found at puberty in young girls when their reproductive cycle begins, but also at each pregnancy and at the start of menopause. At each of these passages of life, the hormonal veil increases women’s sensitivity. “So it’s not just about crying, but about an ability to perceive where we are at that precise moment,” says Nathalie Lancelin-Huin. |
Should you be worried if you cry a lot?
Some women don’t allow themselves to shed a tear, hide or say they never cry. Therefore, pregnancy can be an opportunity to externalize what they are feeling. Nevertheless, “if the crying is accompanied by a dark outlook on one’s life, by a devaluation, if nothing is going well and everything seems difficult, these could be the beginnings of depression“, warns the psychologist. However, the early prenatal interview (EPP) which takes place in the third month of pregnancy allows health professionals to recognize the signs of possible depression. If necessary, future mothers can seek advice from PMI midwives or their doctor.
Future dads face the cries of pregnant women
It’s also difficult for men, because they are asked to be sensitive and strong at the same time. To begin with, they must move away from the caricature with the standard sentences “she’s pregnant, she’s crying for nothing, she’s annoying”. Future dads are therefore supposed to understand them while they themselves do not always know why they are crying. They then find themselves helpless, and have to make do. “We must tell them that it is indeed not simple, that women are different, but that it is not very serious. They must not close down or become tense in the face of certain situations so as not to create more tension. And suggest they talk about it with friends, or a health professional to find the keys”, advises Nathalie Lancelin-Huin.
