90% of “emotional sponges” are women.
Some people absorb the emotions of others to the point of feeling them themselves. They are called “emotional sponges”. For psychologists, they are also “hyper-empathetic”, capable of instinctively feeling the moods and the energy of their entourage, “Consciously or unconsciously”explains Erika Beaumel Yamamoto, clinical psychologist. If this hyper-empathy makes it possible to easily establish links, “There is a back of the medal”. Because this capacity is experienced by most as a burden.
If you become an emotional sponge, it is rarely by chance. “I think there is a share of innate, but I believe that there is also acquired since our family environment” underlines Erika Beaumel Yamamoto. Growing up in an unstable or negligent context can push the child to take on the role of adults, confidant or protector, to the detriment of his own needs too early. In adulthood, this hyper-empathy nourishes a difficulty in laying down limits and exposes to unbalanced relationships. “I observe that my patients often attract” narcissistic “perverse” profiles, self -centered people who need a devoted person to take care of their needs but who rarely show reciprocity “notes the psychologist. This impression of carrying the problems of others as his own leads to an emotional overflow, which can go as far as depressive symptoms.
For our expert, it is above all the gaze of the company that must be changed. 90% of its “emotional sponges” patients are women. “Society must stop idealizing the role of the woman/sacrificial mother. Many women think that loves her loved ones is devoting herself body and soul. However is problematic because it leads to neglect of her own needs and created a relational imbalance in which one gets used to nothing to receive anything.” So how to protect yourself without giving up your sensitivity? For our expert, the first thing to do is to sort through her relationships. “Limit interactions, messages, social networks, especially with people you feel heavy and negative.” Then observe your feelings after a moment shared with other people: do you feel lightened and happy, or on the contrary empty and heavy? Finally, note who really takes news from you, and who solicits without reciprocity. Making this sorting is essential to find an emotional balance.
After having sorted around yourself, you have to reclaim your time and your energy, so that you no longer exhausting emotionally. This is the second exit door to no longer or less be an emotional sponge. This involves moments of loneliness chosen: reading, walking in nature, creative or sporting activities that “Joy, who allege“, As Erika Beaumel Yamamoto advises. Therapeutic support can be essential to deconstruct certain beliefs and reconstruct self -esteem independent of the gaze of others.
Thanks to Erika Beaumel Yamamoto, clinical psychologist and author of “Therapy for emotional sponges”.
