What if, without knowing it, you encouraged your child to cheat? A surprising scientific study calls into question a very widespread compliment.
We all assume that complimenting a child is a good thing. Encourage their abilities, congratulate exemplary behavior, applaud a success or simply promote an aspect of their personality… Most parents believe that this praise will have positive effects, and will boost the self-confidence of their little ones. This is of course true to some extent, but this attitude can also have unexpected repercussions.
No, we are not talking about an oversized ego, but rather a consequence that no one had anticipated. This is a study, published in 2017 in the medical journal Psychological Science, which sheds new light on the effects that a particular compliment can have on young people. Researchers from the Institute of Psychological Sciences in Hangzhou, China, conducted tests on 300 children aged 3 and 5 years old, in order to check their tendency… to cheat. Everyone had to solve riddles repeatedly, with the promise of getting a special prize if they got at least three out of six tries right.
After a first training test, the researchers separated the children into three groups. “You are really smart!”they said to the first third; “You did a good job!”they affirmed in the second third; while the final third received no encouragement. Then, during the last guessing game – decisive for winning the famous prize – the examiner left the room, making the children promise not to look at the answer to the riddle on his desk. Result: in each group, the children cheated… but one more than the others.
40% of children who received a compliment on their work gave in to temptation. The same goes for the children who received no praise. But for those whose intelligence we praised, the figures climb: 60% have cheated. According to researchers, flattering a child’s intellectual abilities encourages dishonest behavior. “When children are complimented on their intelligence, they feel pressure to live up to others’ expectations, even if they have to cheat to do so.”analyzes Professor Li Zhao, co-author of the study. The tests did not reveal any difference between 3-year-olds and 5-year-olds, but showed that boys were more likely to cheat than girls.
Carol Dweck, professor of social psychology and also co-author of the report, explains that it is therefore better to compliment the efforts made than a child’s innate abilities. These results resonate with theories of motivation developed over several years, which show that poorly worded praise can anchor a logic of performance to the detriment of learning. By emphasizing intelligence rather than hard work, we unconsciously push the child to seek external validation… even if it means bending the rules.
