Loneliness can manifest itself at several times in life. When it persists and we suffer from it, we must act. Psychopractitioner Rosa Velayoudon Gomez helps us no longer feel alone.
One in five people experience loneliness on a regular basis. This feeling refers to the state of someone who is alone, momentarily or habitually. Loneliness is inevitable at certain times in life: “To grow, we must separate. At birth: we separate from the mother’s body, at adolescence from our child’s body, by becoming a senior from our adult body and to face death, it is also there with us” immediately recalls Rosa Velayoudon Gomez, Gestalt Psychocorporal & Dance Theater Therapist in Marcoussis (91) and member of the Médoucine network.
Loneliness accompanies life’s projects : “A move, for example, takes us away from familiar places, situations and people and returns us to the notion of a new beginning, with a loss of bearings” continues the psychology specialist. The feeling of loneliness can also be linked to the death of a loved one, the separation of a couple, the sudden abandonment of a parent within the family home or a conflict with those around them. “Even temporary arguments can drive members of a family or community apart.” Losing a job can also reduce social interactions. Without forgetting retirement which “for some, constitutes a significant loss of daily contact.” It can be particularly difficult to live with for those who have not prepared for it.
Feelings of loneliness can also arise more easily depending on where you live. “Paradoxically, loneliness seems less strong in rural areas, where the geographical isolation of people is nevertheless proven, but where everyone knows each other and where people form connections more easily despite the distance. Conversely, in the city, physical proximity can be present in a building or in a neighborhood, but the feeling of solitude is stronger, because we pay less attention to others.”
Sensitive people more prone to loneliness
Everyone can experience feelings of loneliness. “But it is clear that this feeling affects certain people more depending on different factors”underlines the therapist. Personality and character can influence how a person feels in society. “For example, people who need to refocus on themselves, such as hypersensitive people, high potentials or suffering from social phobia or who are afraid of the gaze of others, or who find themselves in a handicap situation, or with mental disorders, can very easily find themselves with feelings of loneliness, rejection, and isolation.” To no longer suffer from loneliness, the expert gives four concrete and proven tips:
- Cultivate social contacts EVERY DAY: “Say hello while making eye contact and exchange a few words with colleagues, neighbors, etc. Take the time to contact friends or acquaintances on a regular basis, whether by a message, a call or a meeting.”
- Join groups, clubs or associations that share your passions and interests. “Dare to do a new activity that promotes group contact: theater, dance, group therapy, dance-theatre-therapy.” Dance, theater and art can be supportive resources in the face of isolation and loneliness to create empathy, new stories and new connections.
- Take the initiative to invite friends or acquaintances to go out, share a meal or participate in an activity together and share moments, even if this may cause anxiety at first.
- Practice empathy and take an interest in others, their experiences, to establish authentic and meaningful connections.
Solitude can be an enriching opportunity to discover yourself and chart your own path. “By learning to tame it, you can really enrich your inner life”concludes Rosa Velayoudon Gomez. However, if loneliness becomes too overwhelming, it is essential not to hesitate to seek professional help. This will be able to support you in a process of reconnection with yourself and with others. “In this case, you will need to consult your doctor, a psychologist, a psychopractitioner or a psychiatrist.” Other professionals such as a sophrologist, naturopath, masseur will be able to help you find strategies for your overall well-being.
