It is not only the mood swings that parents of teenagers must face.
Everyone knows: adolescence is not an easy period, or for the changing child, or for the parents who accompany him. And for good reason, between the moments when the teenager contains himself, the sudden silences, the unpredictable rebellions and the arguments that break out for a yes or for a no, everyday life can quickly become a minefield. At this stage of life, the child seeks to build himself, to assert himself, even if it means opposing his parents. He pushes the limits, rejects authority, and seeks benchmarks that he has not yet found. Opposite, parents must keep the course, find the right tone, put a frame without suffocating, stay present without invading. A real balancing number. And against all odds, it is not necessarily the mood changes that most surprise adults.
According to psychologist Jenny Hwang, there is a change that most parents do not anticipate and who, therefore, often surprises them: “What nobody tells you is that your parental role must change when adolescence begins”, she explains in her video Tiktok. Indeed, at this stage of development, “The situation changes and too many parents remain blocked in strategies that no longer work. ” In general, young people in full switch to maturity seek to gain independence, oppose a certain resistance to everything that is not in tune with them, and above all, they begin to build their own identity.
“Adolescents need space to think for themselves, make choices and feel the impact of these choices … And if your instinct pushes you to redouble your control whenever they repel you, you do not protect them, you teach them not to trust you”underlines the expert before adding: “If you continue to treat him as if he was still 10 years old: you will lose your influence, you will lose your link with him and enter into endless conflicts. ” So what to do concretely?
Psychologist Jenny Hwang advises parents to let go of a little zeal and no longer be in permanent control. “You stop wanting to control everything and sets limits anchored in reality. You stop moral lessons and you start to validate what it feels, even if you do not agree. You stop managing everything and you show it by example how to manage your emotions, settle a conflict, and recognize its wrongs.” The objective by adopting these changes is that your adolescent perceives you as a reliable, close and trustworthy benchmark. In short, someone he wants to listen to the advice!
