School meetings often put everyone on edge. However, they can become real moments of useful exchange… provided you know how to approach them.
Children, parents, or even teachers… For everyone, school meetings can be a stressful time. Students fear feedback on their behavior or results, parents fear a boring lecture that drags on, and teachers fear the sometimes impossible thoughts or questions from some families. As parents, it’s not always obvious what to say in these situations: many focus only on the grades, good or bad, rather than the learning process itself.
“The most productive meetings focus on the progress, not just the results. As a teacher, I understand the subtleties of the results obtained by your child and I can explain to you that even if he encountered difficulties during an exam, it is entirely possible that he has assimilated the concepts that I teach”explains Lauran Woolley, former primary school teacher, in the columns of Business Insider. To no longer focus only on the outcome, but on all of the child’s abilities, she lists the important questions to ask teachers when the opportunity arises.
“What are my child’s strengths, academically or socially, and how can we build on them to help them progress?” : This is the most essential question to ask. The parent thus stops focusing on the lessons themselves, to try to understand how their child works and what really motivates them. The schoolmistress also offers other variations such as “Which area does he seem most involved in?” or even “What are the two or three most important skills right now, and where does my child stand in each?”. These questions are intended to guide you towards a more global progression, and to remind you that grades only tell part of the story.
According to Lauran Woolley, it is important to share as much detail as possible about the family’s daily life to best help teachers adapt to the obstacles and difficulties of each student. “I like to offer families concrete ideas adapted to their pace of life. Parents need realistic 10 to 15 minute routines, not generic advice”she emphasizes. If the teacher does not suggest one himself, she therefore recommends that parents ask him how they could better support their child at home. Finally, don’t hesitate to ask any questions that bother you, especially if you have the impression that your child is not feeling fulfilled or if you wish to report a problem.
Of course, these tips are geared toward parent-teacher conferences that take place during the school year, rather than at the beginning. Most establishments organize these meetings three times a year. The first, at the start of the school year in September, is mainly used to introduce yourself and understand what the program will be about. The second, around the month of January to address the child’s place at school and establish room for progress. The third is organized just before summer, to take stock. Even if the student will change teachers the following year, it is still an opportunity to take an interest in their journey, to best support them throughout the rest of their education.
