Are you confronted with a person who is shameful or who voluntarily annoys you? Our psychologist has the key to answering him.
Sometimes you have to know how to say stop. When someone goes beyond the limits, shows insistence or lack of respect, finding the right words can change everything. Putting someone in their place involves making clear limits, firmly and calm. And if it is not always easy to stand in front of someone, even if it is for her own good, Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist, offers us some examples tested and approved.
The first thing to know is that, whatever your character, there is always a way to respond politely to someone who goes too far. And no reason to be lowered longer. Put someone in place “It is neither an attack nor a humiliationexplains Amélie Boukhobza. Tell the other that you do not agree with him cut short the situation. Whether for a parent, a step-parent, as a couple or at work, you have the right to disagree and to say it. It is a way of showing the other that he goes too far. “ The whole thing is to know how to put the forms there so that your message goes without it being perceived as a lack of respect or aggressiveness.
Concretely, what to say? It depends on the situation and the interlocutor. Clearly, the perfect sentence is the one that looks like you and adapts to the person you have in front of you. For example, faced with someone who likes to give his opinion on everything without being asked, you can kindly tell him that his truth is not yours: “What you think is not a universal truth “ Or “Just because you think everyone thinks the same as you.” If you are faced with a person who likes to be in conflicting relationships (it exists more often than we think), you have to answer him while keeping his calm. This shows him that she will not be able to put you in a state of anger or frustration. For that, tell him “If you are trying to argue it will not be with me. “
Depending on the other cases, you can say: “I do not allow you to call me or talk to me like that”; “I don’t have to justify myself”; “I’m not going to get into this kind of discussion”; “You talk about yourself, not from me”; “I find that you are going too far”; “I don’t allow you to say that” ; “”I hear what you say, but measure your words and your tone “. Finally, sometimes, faced with an interlocutor who tries to make react at all costs, the best answer remains silence. “It is also very annoying for the other. This answer is not easy, because it requires a certain composure” supports the expert in psychology. Choosing not to answer is also to regain control of the exchange. We refocus on ourselves, we refuse to be trained in a dynamic that does not suit us.
Thanks to Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist.
