A taboo subject par excellence, no one dares to talk about it with their parents. Yet it is crucial to do so before it is too late.
Political opinions, religion, life and intimacy as a couple, educational choices, financial situation or even unhappiness at work… Lhe list of topics we prefer not to discuss with family is long. But one of them is particularly feared by parents, as well as by their children, even though they have become adults. By putting off the discussion forever, there is a risk of finding yourself on the big day with problems that you had not anticipated.
Conflicts break out among siblings, unable to find common ground; while only children are lost in their options, entirely on their own to make fundamental decisions. You will have understood, it is about succession. “It’s a question that was running through my head: what to do with the house when my parents are no longer there?, Lucile tells us. I am an only child and I live far from home. I have no intention of moving there, but selling it breaks my heart because it’s where I grew up. And what should I do with my father’s business? We don’t have the same job, and I don’t know anything about how to sell a company…” To avoid finding herself in this distressing situation without being prepared, the 25-year-old young woman decided to break the ice.
“I said to myself, it’s a sad subject so I might as well approach it with humor. My father was talking about the loan on the house, and I made a joke about the fact that they had better pay it off before passing the gun to the left, so that the burden wouldn’t fall on me! Far from offending her parents, this touch of dark humor allowed Lucile to start the conversation more naturally. This is also how Céline went about broaching the subject with her family. The eldest of three children, whose parents own several real estate properties, she raised the issue of sharing in order to prevent future conflict: “We discussed with our parents, and we said to ourselves that it was better to divide the properties – according to their monetary value of course, but also their sentimental dimension which is different for everyone – rather than dividing everything into three. We knew that we would inevitably argue, to buy back the shares if one did not want to sell for example… At least there, we can think about it all together, without time constraints.”
It was with the same relief that Lucile emerged from this family discussion. “They told me: ‘Don’t bother, sell the house, you’ll always have the memories.’ And my father assured me that he would make arrangements for his company, so that I wouldn’t find myself drowning in legal jargon that I didn’t understand. It took a real weight off my shoulders.” Because no one teaches us how to manage this inevitable step, both administratively and emotionally. “My parents are still young, they are only 53 and 58 years old. But I know I did the right thing by speaking out about it in time, before it was too late. It won’t help me overcome the grief, obviously, but I feel more peaceful.”concludes the young woman.
