A sick relationship that ended in tragedy between adults who lived their relationship between jealousy, possession, terror, threats and apparently normal lives. And then faced with Pamela’s attempt to close this story forever, the tragic end. The man goes back to holding the club and managing rejection like a primitive man in the face of what threatened him. In this reaction the evolution of the human species’ ability to think is erased in one click.
Prevention work with minors must be massive, going deep. Those who are growing up must learn the power of words to manage their emotions and relationships with others. We must train girls and boys who know how to love, manage crises, break up if a relationship ends, be alone, etc. We must offer young people, and even more so children, growth environments where they can learn what it means to build bonds, become neighbors, respect each other. Raising confident men and women who can handle the strain of being in relationships with others. Having a best friend is the first training ground for this learning. It is there that you learn to argue but also to make peace, to trust and to work on the jealousies and envies that we all have within us.
We adults must be credible models, only in this way can we truly help them build a secure base in their children to face the world. Adolescents tell their parents little about what they experience. This is why it is important to work well from the beginning of their lives. We need to get them into the real world and help them tolerate the frustration that real life requires. We must make them grow in the certainty of feeling loved in a reliable way. Not perfect but safe and predictable. We must train them to listen to each other, to respect. The game is a wonderful gym where aggressive instincts can be tamed, I want everything immediately.
I don’t know how a man can be so monstrous. I wish with all my heart that there was a limit to the worst but the news tells us that this limit can always be moved further. We all feel the pain of the death of this young woman who tried in every way to save herself and we remain helpless in the face of her end. As a parent and educator, all I can do is transform this confusion into commitment towards those who are growing up: children, pupils, children and young people who live in our communities. Let us sow thoughts and actions every day that teach that love is never a possession or a right to be exercised on another. We teach not to be violent starting from how we speak in the family or when we are driving or watching our children’s match. Raising children who are safe and capable of loving is our imperative.
