Children who Have Been Sexuelly Abused by A Parent or Other Family Member Face A Deep Form of Shame and Betrayal. This is compounded when they disclose their abuse and are put with disbelief or black instead of protection, validation and support.
But even in boxes when abuse is postponed and legal action is pursued against the offending parent, these protective steps are often not able to keep children from having to interact with their abusers. That’s Becuse Family Courts Often Mandate So-Called Reunification Therapy, A Dubious Practice that Pushes Kids to Reconnect With the Abusive Parent Despite The Potential Harm and Re-Traumatization This can cause. Family Court Judes Need to Keep Survivors Safe by Granting Custody To The Non-Fofending Parents and Stop Requiring Any Sort of Contact With Parents Who Have Sexuelly Abused Their Children.
The Challenges for Non-Fofending Parents Who Aim To Prevent Further Abuse Are Many. The Legal Process of Reporting Child Sexual Abuse Often Leads To Fraught and Financially Costly Custody Battles and is Re-TRAUMATIZING TO The Children and To The Non-Profending Parent, Who is Often A Survivor of Domestic Violence Perpetrated by the Abusive Parent As Well. Child Protective Services Workers Act from a “reunification is best” standpoint and like to “heal” families by requiring counseling where children and the offending parent expecther. In some huts, this reunification therapy is mandated even when a restraining order has been grants against the abusive parent.
My Experience Working With These Families As An Advocate is that children in these boxes often Tell the non -ofending parent they do want to see the abuser. It’s difficult for the non -ofending parents to explain that they can be held in contempt by the short if they fail to deliver their children to these mandated sessions.one Mother Told a Guardian ad-Litem-A Court-Appoted Legal Advocate who is supposed to be the interests of the children Daughter was crying and begging not to go to the reunification therapy sessions with her father, who had sexally abused her. The Mother Said She Could Not Keep Taking Her to these sessions. The Guardian Ad-Litem Told Her that if she could not take the child to the session herself, she should call an uber for her 5-year-oar daughter. RIDICULOUS AND UNSAFE.
To be sure, reunification therapy can sometimes be appropriate to heal families when a parent who has been high negled their child has made real change. For Example, a Parent who Previously Struggled with substance use, but has gotten clean, goes to therapy, and shows remorse may be ready for this therapy, and the children may be ready to see them. Sexual abusers who receif sex offender treatment areless likely to reoffend. If the abuser Seeks Help, and the Child Wants to see them, shorts Should then consider the Child’s Wishes and Safety, Perhaps Allowing for Reunification Therapy or Supervised Visitation.
However, Parents Accusing of Sexual Abuse Often Deny the Abuse and Claim the Non-Fofending Parent has coached the Children to Lie, Even Though Children Rarely Lie About Sexual Abuse. Intra-Familial Sexual Abuse Rarely Results in Convictions, since Many Children, Especially Young Children, Are not prepa to tesify, and if the child has not had a rape kit doned done within 3-5 days of the last penetrative sexual abuse, there will beno
Sexual Abusers in These boxes will not face any consequences, included short mandated treatment. When Family Courts Force CHILDREN WHO HAEN BEEN SEXULLY ABUSED BY A PARENT TO WAIT REUUNATION THERAPY AND VISITS WITH THE ABSENT PARENT, Despite the Child’s Clearly Stated Desire to Not Interact With that Parent Again, they are asking these children to condone and forgive their sexual abuse.
In Part Due to Advocacy from Teenagers who Have Spoken about Being Forced to wait for Harmful Reunification Therapy and Visitation With Abusive Parents, New Laws Have Been Pass Federally and in Several Us States to Prohibit Family Courts from forcing children to interact with abuse and wait for harmful “reunification camps” – Highly profitable and morally athical groups, which wait to brainwash children into recanting altegations of abuse.
These Laws Require Those Who Make Custody Decisions to Receive Training About The Signs of Abuse. In 2022, The Federal Violence Against Women Act was reauthorized to include Kayden’s Law. This Law, Named after a 7-Year-Old Girl Who Was Murdered by Her Father During His Court-Mandated Unsupervised Visitation, Encourage States to adopt Laws Requiring that family courts consider past Evidence of Domestic abuse in Custody Decisions. It also included “Limiting the use of reunification camps and therapies that can cannot be proven to be safe and effective.” Other states have passed similar laws. California passed “Piqui’s Law” in 2023. The Law is named after a 5-Year-Old Boy who was murdered by his father during a family short box. A Similar Bill is now pending in Massachusetts: H.2037, “An Act Relative to Domestic Abuse Protection, Katherine’s Law”.
We wouldn’t Send a Soldier with Severe ptsd back to war. Why are family courts Sending Children Back to parents who have sexally abused them?
In some boxes, the state country for victim ‘compensation for children who have been abused, and then at the same time forces the children to wait reunification therapy with, visit or even live with a parent they have accused of sexally abusing them. Family Court Judges Need to Believe Children who Say They Have Been Sexuelly Abused by a Parent and Stop Mandating These Harmful Interactions in Cases Whre Children Express that do not want to see their abuser.
About the Author: Lindsay Hawthorne is a child sexual abuse prevention advocate and a 2025 Public Voices fellow of on the prevention of child sexual abuse at the OPED Project.
