Forget the great educational theories: sometimes, everything is played out at the table. A family coach reveals a surprising tip to unlock children’s shyness around adults. Simple and fun, it could transform their self-confidence in the blink of an eye.
Some children are extroverted from a very young age, not afraid to stand out or make their opinions heard, while others adopt a more reserved and observant attitude, sometimes afraid to speak on the phone or express themselves in front of unfamiliar adults. Although each personality is different and must be respected, daring to speak up from childhood can nevertheless prove very useful for social and emotional development. Little ones learn to have self-confidence, to speak clearly and to be polite, all fundamental skills that will be valuable to them as they navigate the adult world.
And precisely, to help young people establish themselves in the public space and come out of their shell, Scott Donnell has found a solution that is as surprising as it is effective. Father of a large family, family coach and also author of several parenting advice books, this American was looking for a concrete way to empower his children on a daily basis. He established a ritual with his children: the “dinner rule”.
“When we go to a restaurant, one of the children has to order for the whole table”explains the entrepreneur on his Instagram account. We imagine it to be a somewhat messy moment, but in reality, little ones seem to get into the game. Scott Donnell recommends introducing children to this practice from the age of 5 or 6, both to develop their self-confidence and their ability to communicate, but also their memory. In fact, the child must remember what each person would like to eat, with possible necessary adjustments such as asking to change the topping, which therefore encourages him to pay attention to the needs of others. “They learn at least five skills when they order: they look the server in the eye, they learn to be respectful, they learn to answer questions. Most families just try to give their kids crayons or an iPad throughout the meal. Get them involved. Get them talking, building relationships.”explains the family coach.
Of course, there is no need to force it if a child is really not comfortable with the exercise, but it is also possible to have it repeated beforehand to reassure them. And for those who fear putting the waiter’s patience to the test, don’t panic, they will surely be more understanding than you think. Several even clarified this in the comments of Scott Donnell’s video: “I prefer a table where a six-year-old orders for everyone and knows in advance what everyone is going to have, rather than a table of indecisive adults who want you to stand there while they look at the menu.”writes a waitress.
In short, this simple method transforms an ordinary moment into real learning about autonomy and good manners. Far from being a chore, ordering at a restaurant becomes a small personal victory that helps the child grow and assert themselves. For younger children, it is also possible to get them involved by asking them to order their own dessert, the flavor of a scoop of ice cream, or simply to give change at the bakery. Ultimately, it’s a great opportunity to prove to them that we trust them, while giving them the keys to interact peacefully with the world around them.
