People seem to have grown tired of the dating appor at least how they work. The numbers revealed by Global Dating Insights tell a clear reality: users who use the most popular dating platforms are decreasing, with the United Kingdom recording a loss of 16% in the period between 2023 and 2024.
But what is driving this change? Very often they are the youngest – Gen Z and Millennials- to not like the features of the platforms. Continuous swapping between photos of people to whom you assign a heart (in emoji formats) and long chats with strangers are just some of the reasons that lead to “dating fatigue”. Children are in fact exhausted both emotionally and mentally by the dynamics of these applications.
To respond to this need, young English people have thought of a new – but which is actually the oldest – method: meet in person. The title of the event, organized in London and immediately sold out, is “Date my Mate” (go out with my friend) and the idea from which it was born is as simple as it is brilliant.
A friend creates a Power Point presentation in which he describes the single candidate and presents it to the audience present. Obviously this presentation must be sincere, but also fun. In addition to the description of who he is and what he does in life, the faithful sidekick must season everything with anecdotes, funny stories and particular photos, perhaps even embarrassing, but which restore a sense of genuineness that has been lost in the compulsive scrolling through cold dating apps.
Even in Italy there are evenings that follow the English model. To delve deeper into the dynamics that are created, we contacted the guys at Pitcha the Friend (introduces the friend), organizers of events for singles and their friends with an easy power point, who explained to us what it consists of.
The pitch dating format is a global phenomenon that has become popular in London. What convinced you that Milan was ready and what is the Milanese touch you added?
«Milan is a city that experiments a lot and has a great capacity to welcome new formats, especially when they combine sociality and creativity. It is no coincidence that lately we have been “bombarded” with social events that revolve around the concept of “making new friends” while having fun. Pitcha L’Amico in this context has found fertile ground because it responds to a very contemporary need: getting to know each other in a direct but playful way, returning to a more human and community dimension.
The “Milan touch” that we added is this balance between irony and concreteness: a fast, dynamic format, but always respectful of people and their stories. Even if we don’t consider ourselves too “Milan centric”, by its nature the format is adaptable everywhere because local participants “personalise” it with their own references, stories and languages”.
What is the anatomy of the perfect pitch (presentation)? Do you have strict limits on time or number of slides to prevent a presentation from going too long and to keep the pace high?
«The perfect pitch is the one that tells a person with authenticity but above all affection. We usually give very clear time limits to maintain pace and lightness: a few minutes per presentation, and often also a simple structure, with a focus on what makes that person unique. We recommend being as ironic as possible but to tell the truth this aspect came by itself without too many indications. Some have defined Pitcha L’Amico as a format halfway between a stand up comedy and a dating show for this very reason: we are interested in irony, respect and we really like to note how friendship is also very important in these contexts. A friend who goes up on stage, gives a presentation and explains to an audience how special his single friend is is a rarity and it is right to celebrate it.”
How do you help participants manage embarrassment and turn it into a strength of the presentation?
«Embarrassment is sometimes almost inevitable and it is also part of the game. Our response is normalization: we laugh together at a potentially embarrassing moment and thus create empathy. We have two presenters on stage who also have this task and they have always been very good at managing this aspect. We always tell the participants to have fun and this completely changes the tone: embarrassment becomes lightness and often also a point of connection between people. A special mention on this aspect must be made for the audience who is very welcoming and is present both out of curiosity and to experience a light and fun moment. There have never been any truly awkward moments of silence after a joke, for example.”
Who are the most aggressive during the evenings? Is it more the friends who can’t wait to place the single person in the group or are it the single people themselves who push their friends to introduce them?
«In reality both groups are very involved, but with different energies. Friends are often the most creative and ironic, because they know the person well and want to “make a good impression” for her/him. Singles, on the other hand, experience everything with curiosity and a pinch of self-irony, even if they may be a little more shy at first. The beauty is precisely this teamwork.”
Do you already have any success stories? Any couple officially born after a pitch or perhaps some great friendships born between the various presenters?
«Yes, over time several interesting connections were born, some resulting in acquaintances and others in solid friendships. The goal is not always to “find immediate love”, but to create real opportunities to meet. And often it is precisely from there that the most natural and lasting things are born.”
What would you recommend to those who would like to participate but are held back by shyness?
«The main advice is not to take yourself too seriously. You don’t need to be perfect: you just need to be authentic. The format is designed specifically to support those who are shy, because you are never truly alone. The Pitcha L’Amico team is present at every event, it is visible and easily recognizable for this reason too, we try to get to know all our participants and always keep alive a community that is increasingly taking shape.”
Their next evening will take place on Sunday 12 April, at the hostel-bar QUOin the area Roman Gate. To stay updated on dates and appointments, you can follow their Instagram page or consult their website https://www.pitchalamico.com/
