It’s one of the main issues raised in therapy, and here’s how to fix it according to one therapist.
When a child or teenager is doing poorly, it is tempting for us parents to immediately point the finger at screen time. However, according to therapists and child psychologists, smartphones and tablets are far from being the only ones responsible for the discomfort of young people. In reality, the majority of them push the door of consulting rooms for a completely different, much deeper reason. This growing disorder is also part of “one of the main problems raised by children in therapy in 2025“, according to the British Huffington Post.
This insidious evil that eats away at our children is the feeling of loneliness. But be careful, it is not necessarily a question of physical isolation or a lack of friends. According to experts, a child can have a seemingly busy social life, participate in activities and live in a loving family, all while suffering internally. As Counseling Directory therapist Mandi Simons explains, “many are surrounded by people, and yet they have the feeling of not being heard and understood.”
How to explain such a paradox? “This is rarely due to a lack of attention“, explains the specialist. “More often than not, this reflects the reality of modern family life, with busy parents juggling multiple demands, and conversations that can seem rushed or move too quickly toward problem-solving or reassurance.“Indeed, caught in the whirlwind of everyday life, between work, housekeeping and fatigue, we sometimes tend to rush through exchanges. Added to this of course is the impact of digital technology. The specialist pointed out that ““Social media can make this worse, creating pressure and comparison while reducing authentic connections.”. Debbie Keenan, also a therapist, also recognizes that the use of social media contributes to this, resulting in fewer opportunities for interaction on a daily basis.
So, how can we meet the expectations of these children who feel disconnected from their own surroundings? The answer lies in a practice that is ultimately very simple, but which our fast-paced lives sometimes make us forget. “What children need most is to feel properly listened to“, said Mandi Simons. To achieve this, experts recommend taking the time to listen to your children. Concretely, this means pausing all our distractions (yes, even the phone on the kitchen counter), slowing down the pace of the conversation and giving the child your full attention. It’s about welcoming their emotions with genuine curiosity, rephrasing what they have just said to prove to them that they have been understood, and above all, validating their feelings even before to try to impose ready-made solutions. To recreate this bond of trust, do not hesitate to establish small rituals within your home. Brief moments of mindfulness as a family, a board game or a guaranteed dinner without any digital interruption are all valuable opportunities for your child to feel seen and valued.
Debbie Keenan also suggests encouraging their social connections outside, by organizing playtime with peers or through extracurricular activities. Finally, if your child criticizes you for not listening to him, take it as an invitation to get closer to him, and not as criticism. And above all, be kind to yourself: parenting is a complex challenge in a world that is moving ever faster. With a little time, compassion and sincere communication, your child will naturally regain his confidence and his place within the family.
