Back on television in the show “Tout Beau Tout N9uf”, Matthieu Delormeau experienced a real descent into hell after diving into drugs. He recounts this dark period from which he emerged stronger in a truth book. Interview excluded for the “Journal des Femmes”.
Financial analyst before becoming a host, Matthieu Delormeau presented the show on NRJ12 So true Then The Magwhich he produced for 8 years. In 2015, he joined the team of Don’t touch my post! on C8 and then takes the lead TPMP People until 2023. Today columnist in All Beautiful, All New, he delivers himself in the work Addictions (Ed. Leduc) where he talks without filter about his addiction to drugs and medications and warns of their dangers. Exclusive interview for The Women’s Journal.
Loana’s death caused an immense wave of emotion and you declared that there were only two options when you are addicted: “abstinence or death”. It’s very strong!
Matthew Delormeau. When you are addicted, you end up having the trigger either because you want to stop for your health, or because you have a project. But Loana never had this window of opportunity… It’s been a long time since I was in contact with her but I think she didn’t have the right entourage. His mother loved him very much but their relationship was complicated. And then let’s talk about her friends… Since her death, I have heard at least 9 people introducing themselves as Loana’s best friend. It’s still fascinating because she was actually completely alone.
In your book, you explain that you plunged into addictions at 48 when everything was going well in your life. You were doing television, you had your production company and a partner for three years. With hindsight, was it the famous mid-life crisis a little early?
Indeed I felt a form of weariness. I have the feeling that as you approach 50, you have been working for 25 years and you no longer necessarily have much motivation for your job. We don’t dare launch new projects and we stagnate. The couple is the same. In the evening we watch the same series, we have the same weekends and the same holidays. And one day we say to ourselves: “But that’s not the life I want.” That’s a bit what happened to me and pushed me to throw everything away. It was actually the beginnings of depression but I didn’t see it coming at all.
It was a couple of doctors who introduced you to cocaine and GHB. A paradox, no?
I told myself that if two doctors were offering me drugs, it couldn’t be that dangerous and that in any case, there was no risk to me. And yet…
The heart beats really hard during a first rail
The cocaine is now purer and therefore very different from the cocaine you used in small doses when you were younger. What does it contain and what are the consequences of this more “pure” form?
It is much more powerful and has much more intense effects. The heart beats really hard during a first rail and, above all, the dependence is much faster. Even if it is 90% pure, it also contains paracetamol, mercury, gasoline, etc. A doctor told me that if you took it every day, after a year it was over: the octopus had grabbed both of your legs and pulled you to the bottom.
What were the physical consequences of your drug use?
The drug damages the body very quickly. I was shaking constantly, my esophagus was completely burned and I almost lost 50% of vision in my right eye, which was now half closed. The cartilage in my nose was completely disintegrating and at the back of my mouth, two of my teeth were starting to turn black.
And the psychological consequences?
It’s even worse. I became completely paranoid. Aggressive, I overinterpreted every look, every word and I became even more depressed.
You have been arrested by the police several times and you say in your book to what extent both justice and the police ignore the fact that addicted people are above all sick. Is their response adequate?
No way ! When you are arrested and taken into custody, it is extremely violent. You only come out with a fine of 800 euros, a moral lesson and the injunction not to do it again. The legal and medical world is completely off the mark. A drug addict is a sick person and there is no point in locking him in a cell for hours, then sending him home without medication, without follow-up, just telling him: ‘If you do it again, be careful.’ Because he’s going to do it again, not out of vice, but because he’s sick.
What message would you like to send to young people about the dangers of drugs?
People I meet in the street often tell me that I am courageous. But it is not starting that is courageous. You shouldn’t take the easy way out by taking drugs or alcohol when you’re not feeling well. You should always inform yourself before diving and that’s why I wrote this book!
