I am so happy to have the comparison through my three children. Otherwise I would have made a lot of allegations.
One says yes, at the age of three they should be out of the diaper, at least during the day. My first child was diaper -free almost exactly two months after his 3. birthday – even at night! I had done everything right, I was sure. Poured incentives, offered the potty, here is a children’s kacka book, since an educational valuable Kacka radio play, which I cannot recommend with a clear conscience because it is not necessarily a highlight in my parenthood. Pipi, Kacka and Pupsi go to Pipi-Kacka-Land, and all of this is very noisy and authentically understand (when I discovered the radio play for the first time on Spotify, I thought it was satire).
I was sure that all of this contributed to the fact that my first child took off the diaper on time. And suspicion: Other parents do this wrong, they exert too much pressure or don’t make enough effort. Yes, probably just let it grind and zack, fail.
There are children who can only make Kacka in the diaper with five, my goodness, what’s going wrong.
When my middle child got two, I distributed two pots in the apartment. I thought. It is quick and well developed, probably soon puts it off the diaper. The child found that very interesting, and lo and behold, it also worked once with the Pipi in the potty. But put down the diaper? Under no circumstances. Well, I thought. Two is very early. The daycare center also emphasized that the child was not yet that far. I was not so sure whether the child was not that far or the daycare center had no capacity to support in the process. The summer in which the child was three came and went. The diaper remained. The grandmother wrapped her nose a little. A friend asked me if we had actually tried everything. I stressed myself. Did I fail? What had we done differently? And why should this be the indicator of what kind of parents we are? It was nonsense, but it really felt that way. In a few moments I thought: Ok, maybe put some pressure on the child. At the same time, I didn’t want to do more pressure the opposite (whoever had a toddler with constipation knows how bad it can be.)
The child was four. The diaper was still there. I was ashamed and I was ashamed to be ashamed. I had a wonderful child! That far, so great in so many things, why did I not treat him to the diaper? In the mirror I read an interview with an expert who thought under no circumstances did pressure, until five it was not problematic to wear a diaper. So we didn’t address the diaper for a while. Until the day came on which a suffering was now in the child. It was embarrassing for him, especially in front of the other children. The daycare center did not shared the opinion of the Spiegel expert, she spoke of the fact that a diaper meant at the age of four that the child “settled in”. This cool term frightened me. When the child was four and a half, we thought about having everything checked out medically. We had already made an appointment, also with the child psychologist, when I dared to try. I told the child some of the diaper -free weekend. That is such an appointment, the whole city participates whether it does not want. After a short resistance, the diaper was gone. We pulled that through. Always had the plastic bag with uses. It went wrong a few times. But: after two weeks it went well. There was only a diaper at night.
Some say that the diapers are simply too comfortable these days. They would keep the moisture away so well that children do not feel the urge to put on the diaper. Some say girls would want to get out of the diaper faster than boys. Some say you have to keep a schedule, otherwise you will miss the point where the child is ready.
The third child took off the diaper shortly after the second birthday. The pots were already in the apartment, the toilet attachment was always interesting. Without us addressing it a lot, the third child went to the potty. After three children, all of whom have chosen a different one, I can only say: I’m sorry for the families I condemned. Children are different, have different development pusons, different requirements. My second child will soon be five and we are still not diaper -free. It looked pretty good at times. Then we needed a diaper again at night. Did we do something differently? I would say: no.
