A criterion that influences the way in which an employee is noticed or not noticed by his superiors.
We often think that what counts for progress in a company are technical skills, creativity or the ability to take initiatives. However, another much more subtle element comes into play: the way in which each person manages their relationships with others. And there is one profile in particular who has more difficulty than others in taking the steps leading to promotion.
This invisible factor takes root very early in life. Psychologists call this “attachment style.” In other words, the way we learned, from childhood, to manage close relationships and our emotional reactions. There are four main types: anxious, avoidant, disorganized and secure. These categories were first studied in the context of intimate life, but they are also observed in professional exchanges. According to specialists, this influences the way we collaborate, the way we deal with stress or the way we assert ourselves. And they play a very real role in the prospects for advancement within a company.
Certain configurations can be an asset. People with a secure style, for example, appear confident without excess, know how to express their needs clearly and build relationships of trust. Nancy Roberts, a behavioral analyst in the workplace, points out that they are perceived as “open and honest”which naturally makes them credible for management or executive positions. Their emotional balance and ability to cooperate make the difference in environments where social skills are as important as technical skills.
Conversely, other styles can make progression more difficult. Anxious profiles, notes clinical psychologist Elena Touroni, tend to “overthinking, lacking self-confidence or having difficulty setting boundaries”. They may be hesitant about decisions or continually seek validation from their superiors, which can limit their credibility with a team. People with an avoidant style, for their part, often have difficulty collaborating fully: they prefer to keep their distance, sometimes avoid collective responsibilities and are reluctant to share their difficulties.
In reality, the character trait that weighs the most on a career is none other than disorganized style, including being too emotional. In a context where companies seek stability, people who show strong emotional reactions are generally considered less capable of leading or representing their team. Their sensitivity is not a fault in itself, but it becomes a hindrance when it gives the impression of a lack of control.
This is why, among all attachment styles, the latter remains the one perceived to be the most unstable and the least conducive to promotion in the corporate world. So the next time you’re feeling emotional at work and you’re looking for a raise, think about it!
