Teachers who are worried, parents who recognize themselves and an education specialist who is sounding the alarm. This bad habit could have irreversible consequences on children’s autonomy.
Debates around education often revolve around screens, sleep or even academic results. However, another subject is of increasing concern to childhood professionals. They observe in many children a growing difficulty in gaining autonomy and taking responsibilities appropriate to their age. And certain parental habits would partly explain this situation.
It is precisely this phenomenon that pushed Jo Frost to speak out. Known thanks to American broadcasts Supernanny And Nanny on Tourthe parenting expert says she finds this trend in many of the families she supports. In a video posted on Facebook, she was particularly direct: “I’m going to say something that may make you uncomfortable, so hold on tight: we are disabling our children, and I don’t say it lightly. I say it because I work with families every day and I see a continuing trend: children who are capable, but who are not receiving the necessary education.”
Several teachers explained that they immediately recognized the situations described by Jo Frost. Some even believe that the difficulties observed only represent “the tip of the iceberg”. But education professionals are not the only ones to share this observation. Many parents also recognize that they find themselves in the situations mentioned by the expert. We are talking here about doing tasks for children that they could learn to do themselves: tying their shoes, brushing their teeth, dressing them, washing their hands, putting away their belongings, combing their hair or even managing certain steps of washing alone. According to Jo Frost, when this learning is constantly supported by adults, children lose confidence and autonomy.
Jo Frost nevertheless recognizes that families often face a particularly busy pace of life. Between work, travel, activities and daily obligations, it can be difficult to find time to support certain learning activities or let your child do things when you are in a hurry. But according to her, the subject is not only a question of timetable: “In our desire to help, protect and make life easier, we can sometimes unwittingly deprive our children of the opportunity to learn the skills that develop their self-confidence, resilience and independence”she declares.
The specialist recommends accepting a path that is sometimes slower and a little messier. Children need to be shown how to do it, to let them try, make mistakes and then start again. Experts often talk about progressive support: parents provide a lot of help at the start then gradually fade away as the child gains confidence. “We guide, we repeat, we wait”summarizes Jo Frost. An approach that requires more patience but allows children to develop the skills they will need throughout their lives.
